Posted on 06/23/2006 by the cynic
Viewed: 455 times
As you all know, I'm jobhunting, and I have a strong resume that is getting me lots of interview calls.
I am also a worrywart. I have anxiety issues and I tend to expect and assume the worst when I really, really shouldn't. Such as when my husband is away and is late in calling, I start worrying that something serious has happened to him. Or when I flub up a little thing at work, I worry that I'm in huge trouble when I'm not. When I was little, I read about stomach cancer in a science book and then panicked that I had it, because I had nausea problems. And so forth. (Yes, I'm crazy! :D)
One piece of feedback I'm getting from the recruiters after interviews is that the client said I seemed competent, but too nervous for the job.
I'm not nervous while on my job (when I have one), but I have definite interview jitters and testing jitters (I used to have panic attacks in the SAT's too). And I KNOW it comes out to the other person, and I HATE it, and it seems to cost me good opportunities. I have one possible one that's gone to the second round, and I'm trying to prep for 'no nerves' during it. Soemtimes I freeze up and can't even answer a question--BAD. Sometimes I flub up my words, or talk too fast, or am visibly shaking or over-gesturing. I know they see it, because they give me weird looks as I talk.
So. To avoid this problem and start getting more offers, what do you folks do about your interview jitters? Especially when it's a nasty interviewer who makes it seem like you're on the defendant's stand or the police station instead of a corporate office? I know they often do it to test you, but I am failing the test and even get the nerves when the interviewer is nice.
POST A COMMENTM. in Wisconsin(06/23/2006)
I know exactly what you mean, Cynic. I totally understand the stomch thing, too. Been there. To calm those jitters, begin listing the typical intereview questions and come up with answers for them and repeat them in yoour head until you've got them down pat. I've done this and it works! Think of interviews as a legitimate chance to brag about yourself. This is about you — the most important person in your universe. Be bold and tell them what you can do for them. Think of the interview as your chance to decide if you want them, not the other way around.
freedomringer(06/23/2006)
You are not alone! I fight my inner demons on a daily basis. I was once let go from a job, I was not fired, but I did not see it coming. I was only given a two weeks severence pay. I did loose it! I still think I am going to get fired and it has been 5 years since that day. And although my boss is no angel and he is slightly sociopathic, he has told me I am too anxious over it. But you can and will wrestle with this anxiety and you can win. Try visualization techniques and deep breathing excersizes. If that does not work try comedy. Read something funny or think of something really funny and laugh out loud (by yourself of course, not in front of the interviewer) or just think of it this way; one hundred years from now it really will not matter too much!
the cynic(06/23/2006)
Thanks. Did any of you find that "thinking about remembering not to be nervous" (if that makes sense) makes you more nervous too? Also, how do you deal with an interviewer who seems to be interrogating you like a criminal rather than just simply interviewing you? I seem to do fine with the nice ones but I have to learn to deal with both.
avid reader(06/23/2006)
Practice is right, twiz! Practice acting like you go there everyday. Practice acting like it doesn't matter. Practice acting like you've done this a hundred times and this time doesn't matter at all. That is not to say you will blow it off, but you'll come off as laid back and easy to talk to. Practice these things everywhere you go and it will start to come so naturally...so practice with people you encounter during a regular day waitresses, tellers, cashiers, workers etc. Additionally, force yourself to go and do things that are outside your comfort level and practice acting the way I described on things that make you uncomfortable and then a job interview will seem easier after you've done your "homework". Good luck cynic!!!!!
M. in Wisconsin(06/23/2006)
Yup, the more you prepare the better you will do. And you'll feel better and actually look forward to it. Tom Jackson, a job-hunt guru who was popular in the 1980s, suggested looking at job searches as a series of "no's" with a "yes" at the end. If you do that, you won't place so much importance on one interview. It's just a step along the way.
milkmaidinwisconsin(06/23/2006)
My apologies Cynic. I read your last posting first BEGORE I read this one. Clearly you are under stress and dealing with some issues as we all do. Myself included. RELAX this too shall pass. Though I was blunt in my last e-mail...I must summit that not knowing you, if you come of that way to me...perhaps yu do to others? Aniexty can be a destructive element in a job search. That "awfulizing" you speak of is familar. Why not take break? Give yourself a chance to find some emotional equalibreium. Find a position doing something that draws you and will infuse your spirit. A flower shop, eatery, antique store whatever. Once you've regained your footing then you can go wherever you choose. I am most sincere here and wish you good things.
the cynic(06/24/2006)
Well in that case, I apologize for my last comment to you, hehe!! Yeah, this one agency has been sending me on interviews every day this week, in the middle of my work day, which can really put a person into overload (and not a lot of time to prepare). They do the "You have to go right this minute so other clients don't send other people." Thanks everyone for the tips!
the cynic(06/24/2006)
Also to add, that a lot of folks assume that because I complain online, that I cop attitude IRL as well. I don't. My anxiety may come across, but I am in no way cold or rude to those around me. I come here to avoid taking it out on the world.
M. in Wisconsin(06/24/2006)
I have found that in the week or so I've been online here, I am dealing with workplace frustrations a lot better. Online griping is healthy. We are all in the same boat; the problems are just different.
milkmaidinwisconsin(06/24/2006)
You are gracious to accept my apology. Thank you. I think truth be told that I see much of myself in you at your age.If I could spare you the stress and help you see your own worth I'd feel forunate. Often the reactions you describe are simple survival techniques that "can" be misread. You don't come across cold or rude but in an ironic way vulnerable.Often when we rush to anger and defense we allow the other person the upper hand which of course in an interview situation they already have. I have sat on both sides of this desk in my career. HR's are not always evil incarnate sometimes they are pressured to follow the company line and just as frustrated as you are. Really! No matter which side I sat on it always came down to the human factor. If in the course of the conversation you can be one human speaking to another, diverting the corporate BS and say something important, memorable then you open that door which is too often slammed shut in a knee jerk reaction. Anyone who has your heart and verbe is a most capable professional. It's in harnassing that talent and directing toward you own greater good that success is found. And NO iam NOT trying to lecture. I am trying to share life experience that is might help you. I agree that is can be reassuring, comforting even healthy to a degree to vent with others in the same boat but there comes a ponit when you need an action plan to launch your boat and get somewhere. That is my wish for you Cynic. I have a deep intuitive hit that you will go anywhere you deceide to in time.
twiz (06/23/2006)
Hello Cynic. First off, I was once like you. I had the worst jitters in interviews during my college years. But what I found out was that practice makes perfect. I know for you it seems like you\'ve had enough practice, but what I mean is practicing your confidence. Half of my anxiety was due to my expectations that this was THE job I needed to get. No one needs that kind of pressure. Always go into the interview process with the state of mind that you are there to learn more about them. Make it a priority to ask questions. It accomplishes two things, it shows you have a sincere interest in the company/position, and it will help take the pressure off you and put some owness on them. In turn, if you feel less pressure, you\'ll hopefully come across more like your true self. Good luck!
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