Where We Try to Resolve (not Absolve) Workplace Wickedness
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freedomringer(08/24/2006)
It seems in a way that women never really got the liberation they wanted! Womens liberation should focus on how not to get sucked into the vortex and be manipulated by men. I think back to the time of the Suffregettes, (excuse the spelling) women were arrested for indecent exposure for showing the skin above their knees! They were arrested because they wanted the right to vote! Men would say to their children that those women were ugly and no man would want them because they had an opinion. Today, the manipulation continues just in a different way. Women are stupid, we are still being manipulated! It is just more subtle, but it is still there. To quote and old cigerrette ad, "We have come a long way, baby" However women have so much more work to do. First of all, except yourself and who you are. That means embrace yourself and your body. Everyone is different, don't let anyone tell you that you don't measure up on some scale that Hollywood or corporate america says a women should be. Once you stop judging others by the way the way that they look or their size you can focus on the prize. Jealousy plays a big role in how women mistreat each other. Why are they jealous? I think it is because we are brainwashed in to believing that unless we fit into a size 2, have perfect skin, the right color eyes, that everything we ever dreamed about would come true. The fairy tale does not exsist! Women are still stuck by a double standard. For example, if a man should choose not to marry until he is in his late thirties early forties, he is a the paradigm of the bachelor. But if a women chooses to remain single, she is either ugly of a lesbian. Gasp a Spinster! A women never chooses to be single! Gasp! If she is single then therefore, she is unlovable! Whatever! Maybe she has standards!
 M. in Wisconsin(08/27/2006)
You see many of these behaviors in small local or small, poorly-run companies in certain sectors. You often see them in companies where the salaries are low and the employees are uneducated or inexperienced. While there certainly is some of this behavior in most workplaces, I think it is less true of industries or professions that require a highly-educated work force.
 Dharmadee(09/01/2006)
As a feminist caught in the middle of a mess exactly like this, I will tell you that this IS an "ucomfortable truth" that is alive and well in the corporate worplace. AND, not just in small town environments, either. I cannot tell you how disappointed I am about this.
notsoeasymoney(10/05/2006)
Thanks for your post. I'm experiencing this situation where I'm employed as a long term temp. It's a large corporation and salaries are mid-range to high. I can't believe that management allows this kind of behavior in its employees'! So unprofessional on so many levels! My biggest challenge now is to stay cool and have a bit of restraint of tounge. I plan on speaking to upper management about this person because, somebody has to! Not that they don't already know but really, how can they let this crud go on?!?!?!
blola(10/11/2006)
Liberation is a derivative of education and knowledge will help set you free. Ankle biters work for inexperienced incapable leaders who help manifest negligence in the forms of indecisiveness, careless work ethics, narcissism and an apathetic discourse for problem solving which all ingredients help to make an immoral and hostile work environment. The strategy of "survival of the fittest" should apply to the hardworking, honest and intelligent people who have earned their promotions and not to the ankle biters who are clawing, bashing and sleeping their way to the top. An aging top ranking ankle biter is not a pretty sight and their yes men/women are just waiting for that Achilles bite so they can be on top. Good leadership is a rare commodity in today's workplace.
Dharmadee(10/12/2006)
Ankle-biters, huh??? I was thinking of different body parts...but OK...I do agree that the aging, um, "ankle-biter" is NOT a pretty sight. YECCCHHH. By the way-anyone seen the news reports circulating nation-wide, where the IDIOT pseudo-researcher claims that men have higher I.Q.'s than men. This jerk had the nerve to say that this difference, which he claims is an average of FOUR (4) I.Q. points, and it is why there are more men than women in higher managment. OMG. (GAG!)Somebody STOP ME!
blola(10/12/2006)
Okay, okay a-- smoochers. When our branch was led by a woman, we were ranked number one and even though she was a micro manager, she tempered her style with lots of praise for all because it really does take a village to raise a product. We had weekly staff meetings to air any grievances and discuss ways of improving upon performance (after all you never know from where a new idea may spark.) All smooth sailing until madam chairperson decided to devote the majority of her time to her charity work and took almost a two month vacation to Africa. Seems the big guys at the top with their high IQ's were not interested in her altruistic endeavors, and, therefore, replaced her with their golden boy. He had a tan that went on for miles, a beautiful coif consisting of three hairs, a manicure that any woman would envy and a Jenny Craig devotee. And, those profound words he spoke, "I'll be in the office a few hours a week, you can always reach me on my cell phone, and I do not believe in staff meetings" were just magical. And, for those of you who have not had a chance to kiss my boots, please line up to my right. After the ceremony, he quickly dashed off and all we could see was the dust behind his new Maybach. We were in awe! His assistant, a 43 year old male virgin, knew absolutely nothing about the business, but was gifted with the ability to read e-mails, listen in on telephone conversations and move furniture from one corner to the other; what a treasure. The branch went from number one to last place, but golden boy was getting darker by the day and the pounds were literally dropping from his body and people were wondering who is that behind the wheel of that Maybach---George Hamilton?
HaveADamnNiceDay(10/24/2006)
Yes, I will have to agree. Women in the workplace are EVIL CREATURES. Sometimes I wish that they could have lived the way I did: Having been raised only by their FATHERS. Having been raised by a man, I often find some female behaviors just too confusing for words. The cattiness, backstabbing, underhandedness and sexually charged strutting is just baffling to me. The thing I love most about working with men is that most of the time, what you see is what you get (MOST of the time ^_^). They don't mess around behind your back, and if they have a problem with you, they usually TELL YOU. Piss a guy off, he'll probably punch you in the nose and that's the end of it. Piss a woman off....and she'll try to destroy your whole life. This brought to you by a woman.
the cynic(10/24/2006)
One thing I've noticed is that as the previous poster said, men tend to tell you to your face when you're wrong, but women don't ONLY gossip behind your back. They also often "bank" criticisms, not saying anything for 6 months at a time and then finally calling you in one day and saying, "This person hates this about you. You've been doing this wrong all this time. People are saying such and such about you, oh and I'm hearing that you have a habit of doing X, which most people don't like." Thus, with a man you know whether they like or hate you from the get-go. With a woman, you never know what they think of you until you get your 6-month review. Of course, I generalize.
Dharmadee(10/25/2006)
Hey NiceDay!! I agree with you in many ways, as a woman. It is pretty disgustng to see how our gender can play this game. And yet, I have a gut feeling this behavior that we are seeing is (STILL) reflective of a male-driven society, and the "underdogs", in this case being WOMEN are buying into what they perceive are the "alpha" male expectations, in order to succeed. I know it seems like the women are the problem, and believe me, I have experienced it first hand (remember the "BIMBO") and yet I have this nagging suspicion it is still about the male perceptions of reality. Many times, they just back off, and let the underdogs (women) tear at each other's throats. It is a joke to them. The men are primarily still the movers and shakers, if you haven't noticed, while women continue to attack each other. Privately, I have a feeling the guys are enjoying the whole spectacle, while toasting each other and smirking, "See? I TOLD you so!". Of course, there is now the occasional "sell-out" woman, who has bought into the "bully-boy" lifestyle, and who is right there, mirroring them and agreeing with them. Is she REALLY a winner? Maybe so. Perhaps we are truly victims of our own physiology, and Aristotle was right. We are simply a reflection of our "function", because of our "form". Someone-tell me I am wrong.
Freedomringer(10/25/2006)
I have to agree with Dharmadee, we live in a society dominated by men. Women never used to do this to another woman, until men started losing some of their power. When women started to fight for the right to vote, men started losing a little of their power. Unconciously, men in our society started to undermine the bond between women. Look at any of the t.v. shows or magazines, they are all focusing on the cat fights between women. They pit one women against the other, they make comparisons to how they look. We don't do that to men. We don't make men stand on a podium and point to the obvious fat belly or man boobs. This bickering among women was designed by men. You see they have distracted us with the internal strife, we have completely abandoned equality. We are still paid 3/4 of what a man makes in the same position! Wake up girls, my great grandmother did not get arrested for nothing! She was arrested for voting! Men need us more than we really need them, and they know this and it scares the he!! out of them. I don't hate men and I don't hate other women, I just want what is fair. Equal pay for equal work! Oh and by way, united we stand, divided we will fall. Girls don't be fooled, there are plenty of men out there to go around, you don't have to fight over a man.
Dharmadee(10/25/2006)
Did anyone happen to catch to story on the national news, regarding separating girls and boys in school? Apparently, although there are feminists who decry the idea, the girls in particular are testing much higher. The reason? From the mouth of babes, in this case, young girls from 13-17, "There are no boys around to judge us, make fun of us, and make us try to compete against each other." So, the girls concentrate on their studies, and are doing very well. Certaily, there should be more studies done about this, and I do believe there should be some social inter-action between boys and girls at some level, but it is something to think about.
Victoria(10/26/2006)
What about free choice based on personal morality/ethics or the lack thereof? I'm really getting sick and tired of all the 'isms these last few decades, that have stereotyped male and female behaviors, i.e "Patriarchalism", etc. - So much of my fellow female's feline behaviors that I have experienced over and over again in the workplace over the years, have gone down simply because of their own personal sociopathic corporate ladder-clawing-climbing. - Yeah, I've experienced the "glass-ceiling" too, but as I recall, during the days when it prevailed, the workplace was a far, far more CIVILIZED entity. - We females NOT "the gentle sex", and as I started out to say, it's about time we stopped generalizing and held INDIVIDUALS accountable whatever their sexual identity.
vanilla ginger(11/01/2006)
The behavior described above is called "Female Bullying" and is the subject of more than one recent book on the subject. Mostly school-aged and high school girls experience this typr of abuse, but there's nothing preventing this behavior to carry over into the adult world, especially if a given work culture operates at the emotional level of a junior-high or high-school aged female. Personal experience in corporate culture has shown these women to be manipulative, narcissistic, insecure, incompetent and hostile. Classic bully characteristics, but with one interesting twist: the bullying is done in such a way as to be completely covert and indirect - "gaslighting" is a common approach, especially when the bully has allies who will enable and assist in the illusion that the target is "imagining" problems. Rent "Mean Girls" for an excellent instruction manual on subversive attacks. Good Luck.
Dharmadee(11/02/2006)
Hey Victoria, I totally agree with you - I would LOVE for there to be morality/ethis etc. in the corporate work environment. But-the truth is, honestly-there isn't. The women who really "make it" very rarely have it, and the men don't either. The time that you and I remember, when things were better, and more civilized-it was an anomaly, born of a different age. We, as a society have moved past that time, to a state of individual selfishness and corporate greed. I read an article recently, in the Wall Street Journal online, that blatantly stated that anyone who "invests according to their concience" is an idiot who will make no money. The final analyis of the article was that "Politics and religion have no place in the corporate boardroom". In other words, it is about making money, period, keep your ethics and morality at home. The "Corporate Bimbos" will continue to prosper, as long as the corporate mentality remains the same. Sad.
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