Posted on 03/07/2006 by Dharmadee
Viewed: 1983 times
I work for a prestigious law firm, but I am no lawyer. I am just a low paid clerical worker that most of the attorneys pretend don't exist, at least until they need something. I was happy enough in my corner, filing and doing data entry, for about year. My manager liked me, my co-workers liked me, and the work was not difficult, even if there was a huge amount of it. Unfortunately for me, my manager moved on to bigger and better things. The Office Adminstrator, a classic arrogant elitist bully, who is fond of correcting other peoples' email spelling and punctuation, began to interview prospects for the position. My co-workers and I speculated on the various interviewees we saw, and hoped for the best. We never imagined, out of all the well groomed and professional looking candidates, that he would choose a "Bar Bimbo" from Hell, with an outdated Farrah Fawcett hairstyle that she has had for the last 30 years, and NO management experience. This woman was probably a cutie in high school, but she is long past her prime and does not know it. Her previous position was as the ONLY person working in the records department for another law firm; hence the term, "manager" - as in, she managed herself and the paperwork. She is tall, big boned and bloated, and I can only describe her as the type of woman who assumes that she is superior because she could beat up other girls in high school. She appears to possess no natural intelligence and I highly doubt if she has any kind of degree. At first, she pretty much left me alone-but that is only because she had targeted another woman in our department for her manipulations at first. She managed to get THAT woman fired, and then she promptly hired a friend of hers from her previous law firm. Within a week of hiring her buddy, she started up on another employee. She had HIM serving 2 probations, one after another, but could not manage to get him fired. You may be wondering at this point who was assisting her in her dirty little campaign. You guessed it! The "Oh-So-Proper" Administrator of the office, who likes everything to be "PERFECT" and has actually had the gall to say that he expected "PERFECTION" from the staff on a daily basis. Apparently he and she have had numerous private training sessions. Pretty disgusting, in everyone's opinion. After she gave up on the second employee, she turned on me. I went from being a "great asset" to a "problem" in less than a week. Suddenly, she was nit-picking my work, trying to find spelling errors, filing errors, anything. She attacked me on a personal level, told me I was "old enough to know better" in front of my co-workers, and told me to my face I was a "bad mother" because I was a "bad example" to my children. The reason? I tried to explain to her that I sorted my filing before I did it every day, and inter-filed new filing into the stack. She "could not understand" what I was saying, and did not like my tone. Then, she began to make false accusations that I was making too many personal phone calls. I requested a review from - yes, the Administrator, who refused to request the phone records and preferred to simply take her word for it. I finally complained to HR at the home office, my records were pulled and it was proved that I waqs not making excessive calls at all. At that point, I requested assistance, as she was obviously targeting me as the next person to fire. The Home Office threw it back into the lap of the OFFICE ADMINISTRATOR!!! Great. It has gone from bad to worse. Now, I am being told that I am a "negative influence" in the department and I was given a formal reprimand. I was told that if I said anything "negative" about this unbelievable twit, to anyone at all in the office, I would be immediately terminated. This includes the HR department. So now, I am basically at her mercy, she can do anything she wants to me, and I am not allowed to SAY anything. I stayed home today (the reprimand was yesterday) because I was so upset. Jobs are pretty scarce around here, I cannot afford to just quit. Any suggestions?
POST A COMMENTgranularity(03/07/2006)
It must be very frustrating for you. I can feel it in your writing. A "prestigious law firm" will look great on your resume even if for only a year. I agree with "just me" you gotta get proactive and get yourself out before she completely sabotages your chances for better job by spreading more lies or having you fired. Spend your day off working on your resume and looking for a new job! And one more piece of advice: lay low for the rest of your stay there!!
thelma(03/07/2006)
Where did your previous manager go? Maybe you can give him/her a call and find out if there are any vacancies there. Document EVERYTHING and go back to HR. Your boss doesn't have the right to tell you not to go to HR. They have to give a reason for firing you. If not, you can sue. Is it a big firm? Maybe you can request a transfer to another department.
thelma(03/07/2006)
Me again. Does the Administrator have a supervisor? Can you appeal your reprimand? As I said before, DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. Go back to HR. It's HR's job make sure the firm doesn't get sued. One good weapon against verbally abusive people is to write down everything they say IN THEIR PRESENCE. It makes them shut up and choose their words more carefully. If she's calling you a bad parent, write it down. If she says, "Don't write it down," you say "Well then, don't say it."
SouthernProgrammer(03/07/2006)
Hmm, sounds like sooner or later she will cross the wrong person. There are ways to get "protection" from being fired. Go see a counselor, say you are depressed (you are) and have him write on record the reason you are depressed is because you are being targeted by [insert Bimbo name here]. If they come after you simply say you are already undergoing counseling for depression and list her as a cause. See what the LAW firm does then.
Dharmadee(03/07/2006)
Hi Thelma - thanks for your comments! You are not going to believe this...I did write down some things that she said to me, in her presence. She then would leave my desk, go to her office, call me in and ask me why I wrote something down. I said, "Because that is what you said." Then she would say, "I NEVER said that!' When I took my notes, and presented them to the administrator (with the HR person there), he flung them back at me with disdain, and said, "This proves nothing. You have no documentation that she said this." When I told him, "I am telling you she did." Then he said, I swear, "You are only staff. She is a manager. Her word meanns more than yours." So now I am carrying a digital recorder. This is so ridiculous.
American Made(03/07/2006)
HA!! Hilarious! I need one for myself that says "Hello My Name is Out of Work Outsourced Democrat #4,538,901".
Dharmadee(03/07/2006)
Hey, corporateslave -thanks for the pic. I WISH I could go and stick it on her head. But honestly, her hair says it all.
Rev. Belevit(03/07/2006)
Here we go again...I preach and preach and preach. Listen up, 1st and foremost, the personal attacks against you are way out of line, 2nd: ANYONE who tells you that you can't contact your H.R. rep. is obviously breaking labor law. Contact the Hour and Labor commission, but have all your ducks in a row. Afadavits from other employees, phone records, etc.
Dharmadee(03/07/2006)
I do have some statements from other employees, but the employees in my own department apologized to me, and told me that even though they wanted to, they were afraid to confirm what was going on. I guess they can be deposed, if it comes to that. I actually do have sealed and notarized statements that I kept from the beginning of the harrassment (October of 2004). Also-I took some advice posted here, and contacted my insurance carrier, who referred me to a counselor specializing in "labor related depression." I have an appointment on Thursday. I was also told that the therapist would be "signing me off work" starting today, because he was so concerned. Meanwhile, I got a report from a trusted fellow employee that my manager put a "big cardboard box" on my desk. I have a gut feeling that if I had gone in today, I would have been told to pack it with my personal stuff, and they would have fired me. I know she would have lied about me, and there was nothing I could say. What a mess. Hopefully, my attempts work. Thanks for all your help, guys!
SouthernProgrammer(03/07/2006)
>. I was also told that the therapist would be "signing me off work" starting today, because he was so concerned> Whoo Hoo! PLEASE keep us informed as to what happens! This is GREAT!
HaveADamnNiceDay(03/07/2006)
I worked for a beast like that, but she wasn't interested in getting anyone fired, she just liked to push them under her thumb and watch them wriggle. For her, she just loved to torture us, particularly me. I feel your pain. I was also attacked personally--she insulted my skin!!! I had a bit of an acne problem, as everyone usually goes through, but she actually came up to me, stopped, looked at me, and in front of everyone, said I looked like I had been picking at my face! This overweight $%^&* was pointing out MY physical flaws! I don't have the skin problem anymore, but the emotional scars remain.(I had to see a therapist eventually). I went to the senior partner in the office, and explained my dilemma. He didn't see anything particularly unusual or abnormal, and said so. I said it didn't make it right, and that if it continued, I'd quit. The only advice I can offer is bite your tongue, get on careerbuilder.com and get yourself something else. It will be hard, but I think a moment's suffering for years of something better is much more preferrable to years of suffering because you feel hopeless and trapped. That's what I did. I got out of there as soon as I found something else. Jobs like yours and mine are just stepping stones. Something will pop up, and everything will be alright. You'll see. We're all behind you, and we'll be rooting for you!
cnubelevit(03/07/2006)
Definetly, start looking. You can do MUUUUUUUCCCCCHHHH better than working for that twit.
thelma(03/07/2006)
Sorry to read that the writing stuff down approach didn't work. If HR's not backing you up, why work there? Don't all those too-afraid-to-say-anything people know that they're next after you're gone? Take advantage of your time off to work on your resume and get some interviews. The next time The Bride Of Frankenstein sees you should be to accept your resignation. p.s. can you sneak into the office after hours/on the weekend and get your personal stuff (leave the box on the desk so no one will notice you were there)? That will take the thunder out of Bridezilla's dismissal of you. "I'm fired? OK, buh bye." Then walk out. "Aren't you going to pack your desk?" "No. You pack it. Buh bye." and keep walking. Try to muster a smile.
Dharmadee(03/07/2006)
Thanks for your story. It does make me sad that so many people with this sort of mentality make it to a management position. I am currently taking classes at the University of Phoenix, to earn a degree in Business/Human Resources. My hope is that I can make some kind of a difference for other people in a position like the one that you and I were in. You are so right. This is not going to be forever. This is just a way for the universe to let me know it is time to move on. BUT - if I can stop these people from doing this to someone else, I will. The Administrator also told me that I should "learn to stop being so assertive". If you guys knew me, you would understand how ridiculous that statement is. I absolutely HATE confrontations. But enough is enough. He ain't seen nothin' yet!
Dharmadee(03/07/2006)
Hi Thelma- yes, I actually took all my stuff yesterday,(including paperwork) because I had this gut feeling that the "reprimand" was just a prelude to the final act. After all, if anything SHE says is true, and everything I say is automatically a lie, then she just has to accuse me of being "negative" and I am gone. What a joke. So, I guess I am kind of prepared...but I am still going to the therapist.
just me(03/07/2006)
I have to say: kudos to you for being strong enough to see a therapist. Some people might say that you are weak if you go to a therapist, but I say no, you have to be strong enough to say "my mental health is worth a lot to me" and want to keep healthy. Best of luck to you.
disillusioned(03/08/2006)
Are you able to formally request a mediator? This shows you are willing to resolve the issue and will also eliminate the "She said,I said.I never said that" stuff.
Dharmadee(03/08/2006)
Hi, disullusioned (I am too, by the way). There is no one to mediate. The only other person they call in is their resident "Labor Law" attorney. His agenda is to make sure that the firm has no liability. That happened the first time I complained. They brought HER in and she sat there trembling with rage while they forced her to "aologize" for calling me a "bad mother". After that, they said that the issue was "tabled" and would not be discussed again. So, they left me high and dry to go back in there, where she not only had an agenda, but now she had a personal vendetta. Smooth. And pretty sneaky. I am feeling boxed in, at the moment. I am just hoping that the therapist can give me some direction, because believe me, I am getting pretty depressed.
HaveADamnNiceDay(03/08/2006)
Also, others have mentioned that if you're put through pain and suffering from this lady, you could probably sue for the cost of your therapy sessions, or more. I wouldn't recommend it, but if she asks for it... You can also take your problems to the proper business regulation authorities, including the Better Business Bureau. Take your issue to the highest of high authorities in your small business. If they ignore you, unleash the bureaucrats on them! Their behavior is incredibly unprofessional, and it's gotta come back and bite them sometime!
Dharmadee(03/08/2006)
Interesting idea..is there a way to contact an outside governing board for attorneys? Is it the Attorney General's office? By the way, they actually HAVE a former Attoney General there, so you would think that they would have some standards. But who knows. They are all so busy covering for each other. This is a major "good old boys" club, including the female attorneys. For the most part, they have given up their femininity to fit in to this place, and try to be tougher than the men. It is sick. But they do make BIG money. (not that they are good at sharing with the staff.)
SouthernProgrammer(03/08/2006)
If you think about it, you can see what this person is doing. She is not qualified for the position, she got the position through questionable means so she is FIRING everyone who dares challenge her and surrounds herself through cronies she looks after as long as they cover her. By being under a therapists care you can't be touched but could get some laundry aired out in court if needed.
Dharmadee(03/08/2006)
You are exactly right, that is exactly what is going on. What is pathetic about this is that the firm should be able to see it as clearly as you have-but they are absolutely stonewalling. I THINK they might be trying to handle it in their own way, behind closed doors, but meanwhile, they don't care if they destroy me in the process. It makes me feel like I wasted my time really trying to be a good employee and do my job. I should have gotten "friendly" with the Administrator back when he was making complimentary comments about my hair, etc. Yes, he has a long hair fetish, apparently. Then she showed up and tosssed her mane around. Damn. (Just kidding, that is not the way I do business.)
mart(03/08/2006)
Very sorry for your troubles. But keep documenting everything! That matters! And, if you can afford it, consult with a lawyer. I suspect most companies would stop bullying the instant an employee has legal representation because they don't want to be open to a lawsuit. Good luck! I hope to see a postive update of this horrible situation sometime.
Dharmadee(03/09/2006)
I checked with a local lawyer. I got the impression that I would have to have a photo of her chasing me with a knife to prove there was a problem. I really do hava a lot of documentation. This is just bizarre. It could be that they were afraid of the firm, they are pretty powerful. (If this is starting to sound like a movie that starred Tom Cruise and Al Pacino, I am not surprised. Most of those attorneys sold their souls years ago.) Anyway, I am going to the therapist today, and maybe I can get some kind of professional verification. I am literally shaking when I think about going in there tomorrow. Something else I did not mention in my story: A few week ago, she decided to store large heavy binders about 4 ft. over my head, at my desk. These binders weigh about 10 lbs. each, and are regularly used by everyone in the department. I was uncomfortaable with this, and asked if they could be moved to a more convenient location. She said, "NO" in a snotty manner and walked away. I reportd it to HR, and they said they would "look into it, as it did not sound very safe." Yeah, right-nothing. They were probably hoping one othe would fall on my head and kill me.
thelma(03/09/2006)
Are you allowed to bring a camera into the office? If so, take a photo of these binders of doom that are stored over your head. It may be a Occupational Safety violation.
Dharmadee(03/09/2006)
Don't know about "allowed", but I do know that the most recent hire, her personal friend, has a camera phone that he is constantly pointing at all of the rest of the staff, and taking pics "for fun". Who knows...? But if he can, I can.
Dharmadee(03/09/2006)
Update - I went to the therapist today. He does not want me to return to work until Monday, and he said that I was suffering from "extreme work-related stress caused by a dangerously toxic work environment". So, now, we will see what happens...
SouthernProgrammer(03/09/2006)
Ok, now you have "the immunity idol". Now that this has been noted you should be fairly safe.
Dharmadee(03/09/2006)
We'll see...! What was really interesting to me is that the therapist told me that my current manager from HELL was actually what he had observed to be the "corporate model". So, she is not an aberration, but the norm. How sad is that?
Dharmadee(03/12/2006)
I'm going back in tomorrow, guys, with my therapist's note and another appointment on Thursday afternoon. That should frost them. I am scared to death. If anyone out there is a praying person, please say one for me. I will be happy to return the favor, we all need some extra assistance now and then.
SouthernProgrammer(03/12/2006)
Prayers are on the way....
Dharmadee(03/13/2006)
Thanks for your prayers, I got through the day anyway. My manager,(B.M. for short) pawed through my desk before I got in, and made a mess of everything as usual-but my desk was still way cleaner than anyone else's. She came over, and spoke to me as if I was five years old, and acted like everything I did was absolutely horrible. However, once she got word from the HR person about my therapist's note, she backed off, somewhat. It is obvious that she is trying to push my buttons, and I did almost lose it. I kept quiet, even when she snapped, "Problems? Questions?" I managed to swallow my pride, and say "No, whatever. It's fine." while looking across the room at my co-workers' desk, piled to the ceiling with no rhyme or reason whatsoever. She (my co-worker) is really the one with the "immunity idol", as her mother is close frineds with one of the attorneys. What an old story.
HaveADamnNiceDay(03/15/2006)
Nepotism (or a loose form of it): The goiter on the neck of an otherwise beautiful and efficient corporate model.
HaveADamnNiceDay(03/15/2006)
It IS obvious she's trying to push your buttons. One bit of advice my dad gave me: If they push your buttons and yank your strings, disconnect them. Don't react. This works with some individuals, as it takes the fun out of their picking on you. They're looking for you to crack. If you show them a crack in your armor, they'll dig at that spot until you crumble. However, it doesn't work with everyone, and sometimes they take it as an invitation to keep offending you. They think it's ok with you and that you don't care, when really, you DO, and you want to stick them in the eye with a fountain pen. Keep your chin up, and keep seeing that therapist! Mental health is important, and not enough people acknowledge that!
corporateSlave(03/15/2006)
You know what "HaveaDamnNiceDay"? You said it! It's so true! Not enough people acknowledge that mental health is important. We're so quick to sacrafice our own (or somebody else's) for a freakin paycheck.
electricseashell(03/15/2006)
www.bullyonline.org/stress/p...fferences From what you have described you could be working yourself into PTSD....which is a brain injury and as such sueable...good luck.
HaveADamnNiceDay(03/15/2006)
I went over that website and learned alot!!!! It's too bad there aren't laws against pushing people around in the workplace, seeing as how they expect us to waive our civil rights at the door of the office.... And Darn right, Slave! We put up with way too much just so we can get paid to live. They think they own us or something! (chains rattling..)
Dharmadee(03/15/2006)
OK, guys-this really got to me today. One of my co-workers pulled me aside, and told me that while I was out last week, the Administrator and my manager called each of my co-workers in, and told them that if I say ANYTHING at all that can be taken as "negative" about anything (the weather?), they are supposwed to "report" it immediately. They (my co-workers)apparently got together and made a "pact" not to "snitch" on me... but, how sick is this??? We all got along beautifully, and now they are being put in the middle of this. I am so angry. Yeah, I will be telling my therapist tomorrow, but what else can I do?
Dharmadee(03/15/2006)
Just went to that "stress" website-thanks! I am going to recommend it to my therapist. I might even have that PTSD. Every time (I swear) that woman storms by my desk, or even if I see that she sent me an email, I start shaking and break into a sweat. I try to hide it, but she honestly scares me. After I heard what happened to my co-worker, I almost started crying. I can't imagine what the point is of not only trying to destroy my job, but also trying to ruin my relationships with people I have come to really like. I can tell that they feel very uncomfortable and caught in the middle-they need their jobs too. I am just so disgusted by this.
C - -(03/15/2006)
- Googled the bully website - oh my God! Fits at least one of my supervisors to a T. And she almost bragged when she mentioned, by the way, that her own husband ended his life. I am speechless - Thanks shell.
SouthernProgrammer(03/16/2006)
I finally checked the website, it is good! When I went to see a therapist after my stroke I was diagnosed with PTSD...
Dharmadee(03/16/2006)
WEven though I am not supposed to say anything "negative" about my manager-I am wondering if I could just recommend this website to my co-workers "it is so interesting, check it out!" They just might learn something...or recognize someone.
HaveADamnNiceDay(03/16/2006)
I can't believe they're trying to gang up on you like that! That is just so WRONG! What is wrong with people???? Hey, DO recommend that website to your friends, and bring them to JobSchmob! THEY might need to vent about your 'village bicycle' manager too ^_^. Just....wait until you're out of earshot of tramp-zilla. You don't want to give her any reasons to pick on you or them more.
C - -(03/17/2006)
D - Bet you coworkers dread being next in line for the same abusive treatment. Did your therapist discuss relaxation techniques to counteract your supervisor's terror methods?
C - -(03/17/2006)
D - Bet you coworkers dread being next in line for the same abusive treatment. Did your therapist discuss relaxation techniques to counteract your supervisor's terror methods?
C - -(03/17/2006)
Sorry for the double posting folks, my first draft disappeared alltogether.
Dharmadee(03/17/2006)
The therapist was NOT surprised...and according to that "bully online" website, this is actually a common development. It was quite unusual for one of co-workers to let me know about it, the website said "rarely". After I heard that directly from my co-worker, I went ahead and took my therapists' suggetion to send a "statement" to the home office defending myself. I was very polite and professional, but I denied all the allegations that were made against me. I asked that it be put in my file. Although I believe I am within my rights to defend myself, I am pretty ocncerned about Monday, as the Administrator will be back-he was out on vacation for a week. Well, whatever happens, happens. I am not a corporate clone, I cannot just nod my head, and say that what they did was OK. By the way, my therapist also said that it is very possible that I AM suffering from PTSD.
Walk the Planks(03/19/2006)
I'm sorry, but I would not run from her, especially, having seniority like you do. Who does she think she is? Your work record should speak for itself. I would not look for another job, either. I would stay and fight her on her terms. Brainscan for ways to let her sh** fall back on her and ruin her professional image, without getting yourself into any hot water. Her luck with pulling strings will run out, and she'll be left with some pretty horrific stuff to deal with. She's tightening a noose around her own neck. I would want to be around to see it.
Dharmadee(03/19/2006)
I will do the best I can. I have decided NOT to go behind closed doors with any of them, without a recorder. I know that sounds extreme, but I have asked for other HR people to "witness" these meetings, in the hope that there would be verification by a third party. Sadly, they are worse than useless, and deny everything afterward...or say "No comment.", when asked to verify my complaint. Since I have been flatly told that my word means nothing, I don't really have a choice. At least, it will make me feel a little better.
dahoov2(03/19/2006)
This may not be much, but it helped me survive about the same thing (worse as I did end up leaving/fired(?)(long story; technically not fired but "let go early when I said I gave my notice, they took me up on it immediately. Anyway, to get back on track, here's what I learned. It just so happens that EVERY dog DOES get their day. Her's will come. And when it does and she looks to you for solice, you can sigh with relief and ignore her. Don't say or do anything; try to keep a low profile and hopefully things will go around (karma and all that) in good time! PS In my case it took a YEAR after I left, but they did finally understand what I was telling them was true; they had enough and the woman was fired. She called me on the phone and I told her the truth of how I felt about her and a huge burden was lifted off me. So hang in there!
C - -(03/20/2006)
SHE called you?! What conceit! It must have felt wonderful to communicate your true feelings. There is a god in heaven after all.
Dharmadee(03/20/2006)
Really - I can't imagine my manager ever calling me for solace...it must have been great for you. Well, another day, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Hang in there, everyone!
Dharmadee(03/20/2006)
Update! This is so unbelievable I had to post it. OK - we had a "staff meeting" today, and the "SENIOR PARTNER" spoke up (VERY unusual), and let everyone on staff know that suddenly, in spite of this year being the most profitable year ever in the firm (they specialize in bankruptcy, go figure.), there would be cutbacks. Apparently, everyone is slacking, especially, (Get this) MY department. SO, they will be looking for those staff member who are "not productive" for layoff. OH, also...certain people (you know who you are) will not be getting an annual raise this year. I wonder who this will be. Everyone was stunned, but I knew what was going on. Apparently, their plan is to "downsize" me...after all, wasn't this possibility announced at the meeting, so it can't possibly be personal??? I am sure the "Bimbo Manager" will have no problem claiming I am the weakest link. What a crock. So, they have all decided to join ranks, right up to the top of the ladder and create a situation tht results in my being eased out with no repercussions. I guess I could be flattered that they went to this much trouble.
C - -(03/21/2006)
If this happens it so sucks. I am so sorry can't think what else to say, ... errr type without being abusive as heck. :)
SouthernProgrammer(03/21/2006)
I get the feeling any law firm who went to court against your current employer would LOVE this. Lets see, a manager of "dubious" abilities and reputation was hired. People who previously had gotten excellent reviews were terminated and former acquaintences of hers were hired. You, who had never given any problems before, were suddenly being called to the carpet and harrassed enough that you had to seek the services of a counselor, is suddenly DOWNSIZED? Oh yeah, I think another law firm would LOVE this one. If they decide you aren't productive, of COURSE you aren't productive! You are suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder brought on by your manager! Get the PTSD diagnosis, I don't think they can legally touch you if you have the diagnosis...
Dharmadee(03/21/2006)
Get this...the HR person just sent around an email that she will be "reporting" daily on anyone who is LATE (5 minutes or more)to the Senior Adminstrator, as per the meeting yesterday. Even though I ususally am early, I am willing to bet it will just take ONE time. Whatever. You better believe I am traumatized. I also feel bad that they are putting everyone through this rigamorole, just so it will not appear personal. I hope they are real proud of their little game. Maybe they will cause someone to be in an accident, as they speed here to save their job. They have already had three teenage children of 3 different employees here attempt suicide this past year alone. (One 12 year old succeeded in blowing his head off. I am not kidding.) I am sure it is because of the stress that the employees bring home, and how they ignore their families while catering to the firm. This is getting worse and worse.
SouthernProgrammer(03/21/2006)
Sheesh! That is pretty bad, heck in that case get a "medical leave of absence", look for another job during that time and then come in 15 minutes late and quit!
C - -(03/21/2006)
Not to add to your trouble but watch the company clock, if there is one. I had one super play with it, insisting that I had to go by the office clock. It was at least 5 minutes early at starting time,changed miraculously after lunch and was 5-9 minutes late at quitting time. Double annoyance since I always missed my bus and had to wait again. - Keeping my fingers crossed on your behalf.
Dharmadee(03/22/2006)
That is one thing I am learning from this site-there is no end to the games they (management) are willing to play to screw people over. I still cannot figure out how they can live with themselves. I don't know if they are from an alternate universe, or if I am...I guess that is why I am not considered "mamagement material". I actually HAVE personal moral standards.
Dharmadee(03/23/2006)
Well, it think it is starting. It was announced that tomorrow is one secretaries last day. I think it was one of those famous "mutual" decisions". I also heard that she had spoken out very strongly in public against "you know who" a few weeks ago. It had nothing to do with me, it must have been something between them. I really did not even know this secretary, except in passing. So, it looks like they are starting to "weed out" the ones who had the guts to speak up... It is just so darn mean and sneaky. We'll see what tomorrow brings. I can't believe these tactics.
C - -(03/24/2006)
More fun and games of intimidation. Let's hope you get some sleep tonight. There comes a point when you know it is out of your hands and what happens, happens.-- If they are playing it this way you will be able to get unemployment benefits while looking for another job.
Dharmadee(03/24/2006)
Exactly, that is what I figure they are angling for. This is SO pathetic. My co-workers are under the same impression ,and told me privately they could see that the whole charade was to target me. It really is pretty obvious. The only thing I can say is, if you want to keep your job in a corporate environment, and you are not "best friends" with someone in management, the only thing you can do is to keep your mouth shut, no matter what happens. And THAT is no guaratee either.
Dharmadee(03/28/2006)
New day, same story. She (The B.M.)is now sending me private emails, implying that I have done something wrong, or that there is a "problem" with my work. Then, she lurks around the corner, and waits to see if I will "vent", so she can claim that I am being "negative" and get me fired. One of my co-workers saw her, came up to me and gestured that she was there, listening. (This was actually the guy SHE HIRED!) Since she could not get me in that way, she followed me around the entire afternoon, asking me, "What's this? Why is THIS here?" etc. God. I am amazed I did not lose it. Knowing I could vent here really helped. I just let her go through everything, and repeated to myself, "It doesn't matter, it doesn't belong to me." until she finally gave up and went home. Unbelievable.
C - -(03/29/2006)
Keep up the good work. Smile at her silly games. Drive her crazy by staying relaxed. Breath deeply, think of every pleasant event you ever experienced in your life. Having coworkers who care about you will make this so much easier. Don't forget to keep track of all her nasty tricks. This may be of some help if you can complain about harassment, hostile work environment e.t.c. Working in law-offices you must know the drill. Best of luck.
Dharmadee(03/29/2006)
Thanks, C--. This is really interesting, getting online support this way, it really helps. Well-today she nearly worked me to death, kept me at it with intense physical labor until I broke down and cried. (she did not see me, I went into the ladies room.) Remember, I cannot go to management with a complaint, or I am immediately terminated. I really, really wish they would just fire me, but I can tell that her tactic is to force me to quit. I am actually kind of getting scared, because I don't know how far she will go, and it is obvious she feels totally protected by the administration. I am absolutely stunned that they are doing this, and getting away with it.
C - -(03/30/2006)
Physical labor? What in blazes is she asking you to do? Be very very careful not to get hurt. Go to your doctor, or better yet go the nearest workmen's comp office if you have any discomfort. My advice would be to do this after work. That way they can't accuse you of having left your post during working hours. It's depressing to see that this type of attitude still exists. Can you check if she can force you to do work you were not hired for? Stay well.
freedomringer(03/30/2006)
I have a great idea for you. Plot out a legal but very nasty revenge. There are legal things you can do, that could make her life he!!, as well. Even if you dont carry out your revenge, you will find stress relief in plotting it. I have fantasies about getting even, of course I never take action, but just daydreaming about it makes me laugh and relieves alot of stress. I had a boss that sounds similiar to this women and eventually I lost my job, but life went on and I moved on. I eventually found a better job at a very prestigious institution and make much more money and have greater opportunities than I ever would of had if I stayed there. I would not tolerate it. I understand you need money, but dont subjugate yourself for it. It is just paper after all!!
SouthenProgrammer(03/30/2006)
Freedom Ringer - Agreed, there are things that can be done. #1: Send her resume to a head hunter to see if she can get hired away. #2: Look for automated FAX BACK systems. Get a list of about 10 fax back systems and go into each one and request a fax be sent to her phone number. I do this when someone really honks me off and it ties up there phone for about an hour. Fortunately I have not had to do it for a year or so....
Tonga88(03/30/2006)
Don't let money be the only reason you have to endure mental abuse. Try to get another job asap (even if it's temporary) until you find a better place for yourself. I would rather you work at a coffee shop or waitress temporarily, than suffer any longer! I just can't believe how long this has gone on, and how hard this has been for you. Hoping for the best for you!
Dharmadee(03/30/2006)
Thanks to everyone for your help and suggestions! Another day, and another story...the Administrator went around today, handing out the envelopes containing the information about each employee's "annual raise". Everyone goes through a very arduous process, getting reviewed, writing out a personal job description, discussing it in detail with your manager, etc. This ordeal lasts for about three weeks. SUPPOSEDLY, this is the information they base the raises on. Even though I got good job reviews - even from my bimbo of a manager (she could not figure out how to make me sound bad, even though she tried. The worst she could say was that I get "upset under stress".) Anyway, when I opened my envelope, I got a memo that I would NOT be getting the annual raise, since I am "under probation". What...? A probation is a temporary situation, and then there is a review. I have not received any notice about a probation, just a warning to NEVER complain to anyone about my manager no matter what, ever, or I will be terminated. I am assuming that this latest development is to make me get upset and quit. That way, they don't have to explain themselves, or pay for unemployment benefits. You guys should have seen this jerk when he handed me the envelope, with a nasty little smirk on his face. My husband says I should go around talking about her to everyone, so that they WILL fire me. I can't believe they stooped this low.
C - -(03/31/2006)
As low as it has to go and lower than that. Don't dwell on it they are not worth getting sick over, so watch out and stay calm.
SouthenProgrammer(03/31/2006)
Go to the restroom, "clean yourself" with the memo. Leave it on your bosses desk and walk out....
C - -(03/31/2006)
Too obvious, anyway causing distress is only fun if you can stick around and enjoy the results. Find a way to keep that bad lady busy. I did manage to generate a lot of paperwork and keep my nightmare manager busy enough long enough so I could take a break and a lunch break in solitute and recover.--Idle managers are the devil's workshop.
LawnJohn(03/31/2006)
There's a term called constructive discharge where a manager or someone in authority makes the work area so unbearable that a person quits. Take very specific notes how you are being treated and what is said to you (dates, times, locations, witnesses, etc.) When you have enough info go back to HR and tell them that you will file a constructive discharge suit if they don't address the situation.
Rook(04/01/2006)
Your Bimbo Manager has created a hostle working environment. Hostle working environments has cost corperate america millions. Have an attorney who specializes in Hostle Working environments send a letter to your HR Department warning them as to what will happen if they do not correct the situation.
Dharmadee(04/02/2006)
You guys are absolutely right-but here is the scary part. I have attempted to contact some attorneys, but it appears that they are afraid of my employer. (It is a VERY big firm, very powerful). When they hear the name, they just back off. The administrators know very well that what is happening is wrong, but it seems like their solution is to back me into a corner and get me to quit. They appear to be backing my manager 100%. Changes are, though, they will let her go after they get rid of me. Then of course, they will deny all knowledge of what happened. Although I don't want to accept it, the chances are that my co-workers will stonewall if asked, because they are scared about keeping their jobs, and they see what happens when someone complains. I guess I would have kept my mouth shut and taken my lumps too, if I had realized that their policies are not worth the paper they are written on.
Dharmadee(04/04/2006)
I would like to add another amazing example of arrogant management...after I was shifting files for 3 hours straight, the B.M. came in, shifted files for 5 minutes and declared that she was doing it better than anyone else becuae she had been brought up with a "good work ethic". Then she left, and made a scene about being "exhausted' to everyone in the kitchen area around lunchtime. I could not believe it. I know it should not bother me, but still...
freedomringer(04/04/2006)
It sounds like your "BM" could use a good bowel movement.
SouthenProgrammer(04/04/2006)
Pretty clever on her part really. Now she can tell everyone that "all of you" worked for over three hours on that project. Don't dismiss her as being stupid, it sounds like she is quite adept at promoting herself.
freedomringer(04/04/2006)
Another thing to consider, if you can not say anything negative at all, KILL HER WITH KINDNESS!!! It works, I have a special gift at acting even if it makes your want to hurl, you should just be as nice and sweet as honey. Think about it, drip with sincerity, smile and offer kind platitudes. It will take some time, but her behavior will eventually betray her, and others will see the evil that lurks beneath her skin. She will lose her temper and try to physically attack you, just make sure she throws the first punch, then you can you as much force as you deem to justify your safety.
SouthenProgrammer(04/04/2006)
Interesting Freedom Ringer, I was thinking of suggesting that tactic today also. FreedomRinger is right, sooner or later she will lose her cool with you and you will be vindicated. Sign up for a Judo class, it will prepare you while helping you relax...
C - -(04/04/2006)
Don't your wish, that would be easy.---- BM is more likely to stage an accident of sorts. Always watch out for the other guy, just not the way you think.
Dharmadee(04/04/2006)
C-- is right-she is "out" now for a family emergency. The administrator sent an email out to everyone in th firm, just dripping with concern for her, and then saying that if anyone had any "issues" with our department, he should be contacted PERSONALLY, the implication being that we are absolutely useless without her supervision. YES, they are smarter and more devious than they look, especially since they are tag-teaming. On a side note, I found a quote from Cicero today, who is considered to be the "father" of modern lawyers. He said, "When you have no real argument, attack the plaintiff." Now, that sounds like standard corporate games to me.
Loves 2 Run (03/07/2006)
Oh man... your poor poor gal! My husband worked for such a "Dragon Lady". I really wish I had a solution. Not to worry, someone will. You may have to grin & bear it until you find something/anything else. An ulcer will do you no good at all! Good Luck!!!
just me (03/07/2006)
Wow. I am really sorry to hear this woman has made your life do a complete 180. That's how it is too, one bully can get into your life and change a happy situation into a miserable one in a matter of days. You did the right thing by escalating it to HR, but it sounds like you don't have the support you need from them to thrive there, let alone stay. It sounds like you are next on her list of people to get fired. You say that jobs are pretty scarce around where you live and that you can't just quit. In that case, I would start looking for other employment ASAP because you gotta get proactive to get out of there. Sooner or later she's going to have you fired or make it so miserable that you quit on the spot. So in both scenarios, you're going to find yourself out of a job. So my advice is to start looking, talk to whoever you think might know of a job opportunity or need someone and get going on getting yourself out of there! You don't want to have to explain to new jobs why you were fired, so it's best to get a new job and quit. Unfortunately, she's going to win because she has the Administrator on her side.
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