Posted on 10/20/2005 by Keeping the Peace Sista
Viewed: 797 times
My story is quit strange but is has been nerve racking. Maybe someone out in the world can help me solve or deal with this issue.
Bascially, I work in a small development office. My primary function is database administration and donor research. I am the only trained and qualified individual who can do and understand my job.
The problem I have is that my co-workers and I do not have a supervisor, but an independent consultant who has been working with us for the past year. I am confused because on one side she is my supervisor but the other side she is just a consultant. No one in my organization can explain to me what this means. I just always felt that I could answer to the man who signs my check as my boss.
The bigger issue is this: this woman has verbally insulted me and bullied me in public. She calls herself a professional, but how is that being professional when she belittles me among my co-workers? I have dealt with all this with a smile and continue to do what she has asked. But recently she provoked me to address the issue of communication between her and the senior management that hired her. One would give me one set of directions, and other one would come along and change those directions. This puts me in the middle of their battle of control.
Needless to say, I have be delayed on producing reports for her. But she has not taken into the fact that our business was closed for 2 weeks during Hurricane Katrina and she went to Spain for 2 weeks. We didn't open back up until Sept. 19. The information she requested was not made until after she got back from Spain. But it is my fault that she does not have the information she needs.
Of course, I do admit responsibility and put forth efforts to do better. But today she called me in and issued a 2 week suspension without pay because I was insubordinate in a meeting with her and her boss a week before. She waited a week to address this issue, which provoked me to respond to her in a very unprofessional manner. After I finished what I wanted to say, she refused to listen and dismissed me and told me that my suspension began today.
I confronted HR about this issue immediately. Two weeks before I gone to HR and discussed my concerns with working with this woman.
HR listened and advised me to accept my punishment and deal with it in a professional manner. Basically, I had to eat crow to a woman who is not even an employee at the business.
Needless to say, she told me that I would have to work on my attitude and communication skills. My two week suspension was null and voided and I am now on probation.
I had asked HR to sit in the meeting with me, but HR declined.
I don't know if I have any legal avenue. I work for a non-profit and the state I live in has the at-will law. If anyone can offer me assistance or advice, I will definitely appreciate this information.
By the way, she never admitted any wrongdoing. The only thing she said was that if I were suspended for 2 weeks, she did not know what she would have done without my contribution to department. I just don't get why some people don't think before they act.
The woman is not even computer literate. Nor is her administrative assistant. They do not like information emailed to them; they prefer hard copies. I'm a Generation X baby, I don't do hard copies. I am very multi-task when it comes to using application programs: Adobe, Word, WordPerfect, Excel, Access, and pretty much any other common program.
All I want to know is this considered retailiation from her, verbal abuse, or just petty annoyances to get at me for being who I am? Does not the employer have a duty to protect my rights if I have attempted to address them?
POST A COMMENTbrother from another mother(10/20/2005)
What in the heck did her race have to do with ANYTHING you wrote? Your entire 600+ word story is invalidated by the six words in your title. And because of the fact that you chose that as your title, I have to say she is probably dead on about your attitude.
Don't judge unless you know(10/20/2005)
Never say never again! I know what you are going through. Her chip on her shoulder leads to a different tilt. Yes there is a difference between minority group sociopaths&bullies and the majority group of pathological cases. One will attack the members of minority splinter groups, the other will attack the gentle and competent. Reading your post brought back some very unpleasant memories. I must have met your tormentor's sister. Our stories are almost identical. Nobody wanted to help me because they were afraid of being labeled. I took the dispute to an HR equivalent and a weak union. As soon as the union stewart saw her in the first meeting she looked for excuses to pull out. It was so obvious. The stew did not appear at the last hearing, I stood up for myself and fought for my job. I made it but the repercussions continued. Consult a lawyer if you can, because state laws vary widely.Don't depend on witnesses. They can be intimidated. If legal tape her rudeness and whatever else comes out of her mouth. Sue her for reverse discrimination, retaliation, hostile work environment, harassment, destruction of property, even bodily harm if applicable. Document and do NOT let her know what you are up to. Discuss this with your local EEOC but don't commit. Walk out if you deal with somebody sympathetic to your tormentor and who does not give clear concise answers to your questions. Find another legal case worker or a different agency to help you, if instead of advice you get snowed under with paper work and deadlines. Remember, they are supposed to help you. (Been there too; different minority group so has one of my long ago supervisors) Sister finally put one department out of business. Of course she was "rewarded" with supervising another small department and has slowly worked her way up the ladder again. She is still curt and unhelpful to blond teenage girls and particularly nasty to African American males and members of small minority or religious groups. She also gave deliberately bad advice to a member of another major minority group, but she is careful not to show her hostility. I had minority supervisors before and since. Good, not so good and indifferent. The fault is not always with the person voicing the complaint.
mar(10/21/2005)
It's hard to take your complaints seriously when you start off with a racist headline. There's no reason to stereotype just because of your conflict with a coworker.
Don't judge unless you know(10/21/2005)
To those who read and look and do not want to see. Yes there is a difference. If the reverse had been presented, the person opposite Never Work would get help and support, agencies would fall over each other eager to help. HR would do its job. Never Work stands alone. The caption may have been an impulsive choice but understandable when looking at the circumstances.
I tame Monkeys(10/21/2005)
My guess is she feels threatened by your knowledge of computers, etc. And even more so if you are of the same race. But - that definitely doesn't make it okay to stereo type that all of one race is the same way. I can guarantee they aren't!
mar(10/21/2005)
I don't know what's more disappointing -- the racist headline, or the responses from people (such as in the "don't judge" post who seem to excuse the racism.)
on my side(10/22/2005)
>but understandable when looking at the circumstances< ...huh? What "circumstances" in the story had a single thing to do with race?
Walk the Planks (10/20/2005)
Unfortunately, bullies never stop or go away. If you want this job, you're going to have to put up with her sh** You're not going to be able to change her. It's so awesome that you are acting professionally. You must be a very good consultant, as you said she's one too. Wherever there is conflict in the workplace between two people who are doing the same job, competition is at play. It's a power-struggle. I've come to learn that no matter where you are in a workplace, there are always bullies and sociopaths (believe it or not, they're more common than most people think, these heartless power hungry souls.) You just have to be the stronger person and suck it up or move on. I hope you realize that the reason people put others down is to make themselves feel better about themselves at someone else's expense. How sad and pathetic is that? People like this get a good feeling about themselves by feeling that they're someone who's "better" than someone else. They need to do this to validate themselves, for their own personal happiness and to feel like they're something special. Also, when you stand up to a bully, they clam up and back down. Often times, they're just mouths. If you want to soften her, don't compete with her and literally surround yourself with an heir of calmness, peacefulness and openness when you're around her. (Change the air around yourself when you deal with her.) You should notice a difference. Also, complimenting her on her work or making her feel good about herself may make her stop putting you down, because you're giving her the feeling that she wants. I'm glad that you're being the bigger and better person, though.
putyourmoney2work (10/20/2005)
What does this have to do with African Americans? The situation you describe could be anyone.
SouthernProgrammer (10/20/2005)
putyourmoney2work - You beat me to that post. KTP - if you are going to have a grudge against this person, do so because of her actions...don't bring race into it.
Come on! (10/20/2005)
Okay!!! Race has as much to do with this as it did Hurricane Katrina! What is your problem you !@#$% jerk... we are in the 21st century, act like it! Race is only an issue, if you make it an issue!
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