Your boss won't remember your name in 20 years—your kids will!
Aug 18, 2008
Wierd People, The Olympics And Me
by Southern Programmer
Tags:
I'm depressed.
On my drive in this morning I stopped by the new Walmart to pick up some personal-size bottles of milk for my lunch and other items when I noticed they had an entire aisle devoted to summer items 50% off.
While I know logically that this happens every year it really brings me down as it means summer is ending!
I don't know why this brings me down, perhaps it is the child in me that still thinks he has to report
back to school but it really depresses me when I see beach towels, flip flops, and other items marked '1/2 off!' next to new displays touting the latest fall fashions.
Maybe I'm just too 'sensitive'.
A rather funny thing happened to me as I was leaving the store. As I approached my aging 12 year old land yacht I noticed a woman one row in front of my car looking distressed.
The woman appeared to be in her 40's and was dressed as if she was heading to an aerobics studio.
This woman would:
1: Examine the end of a car that I assumed was hers.
2: Stand up and flap her arms and yell "[obscenity]"
3: Look around with a distressed look.
4: Goto 1
Even though the voices in my head told me not to, I decided to ask her what was wrong.
"Someonehitmycar!" she yelled hysterically.
I looked down at the car which appeared to be a 90's vintage Geo Metro that was actually in great shape except for the rear taillight which was broken and a small bump on the fender. Obviously someone had backed into this little car and drove off.
"Oh my, someone bumped your car" I said in a sympathetic voice.
"YES! WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THAT!?!?" the Woman shrieked higher. Nearby, dogs began barking.
"I KNOW IT'S AN OLD CAR BUT IT's MY OLD CAR AND I TRY TO KEEP IT IN GOOD SHAPE AS I HAVE HAD IT SINCE HIGH SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!" The woman exclaimed.
As I tried my best to keep a straight face I said "We don't know if anyone did this on purpose, someone may have just bumped your car without realizing it since you have such a small dent. I know it's painful to you but it looks like the damge is very minor and can probably be fixed easily"
Big mistake. For some reason this managed to amazingly add volumes to her voice.
"WELL WHO IS GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!? I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO PAY FOR THIS! WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THIS TO ME!"
At this point I realized that my best action was to get the heck out of Dodge as my new friend was drawing a lot of attention to herself.
"I've got an idea", I said pointing up to the security camera's, "I bet the security camera's recorded the incident and you might be able to get the license plate of the car who hit you!"
My new friends eyes bulged out, "YOU'RE RIGHT!" she exclaimed and began jogging to the store.
I then jogged to my car and left as fast as I could while obeying the speed limit...
Question for anyone actually reading this blog: Has anyone been paying attention to their 401K during the "recession that's not really a recession but has all the signs of a recession depending upon which analyst you believe?"
That's yet another way to get depressed, looking at your 401K. I just looked at mine and can see it has gone down, from what I have heard the best thing to do is to 'leave it alone' as the stock market WILL come back and is showing all signs that it is recovering.
One person who should never have to worry about his 401K is Michael Phelps. During the morning break I was reading that his endorsement deals could land him over 40 Million dollars.
40 Million dollars and he is, what, 19 years old?!?!? Boy did I mess up in my choice of careers!
If I would just have tried harder I could have been 6'3" tall, part dolphin, and winning gold medals by the truckload!
Don't get me wrong, I think Michael Phelps is an amazing young man and is a HUGE inspiration to children everywhere. I watched an interview with him yesterday and was touched by his devotion to his mother and how kind he was.
But I can still be jealous! :)
Can you imagine being his age with millions in the bank? I overheard him say he was going to "stop training for a few months and just relax"
This made me admire him more because I must admit if I had his bankroll I would have stopped training for a few DECADES. Heck, if I were his age and had millions in the bank you could not remove my derriere from the couch with anything less than a five ton forklift. I would have sat there and watched TV, eaten pizza and played video games until I was buried with a remote in one hand and a pizza slice in the other.
Good for you Michael Phelps, you are an inspiration to kids and parents everywhere!
Hmm, now where is my youngest son?
"Hey son! Want to go to the pool and swim a few 100 laps!?"
SouthernProgrammer(08/18/2008)
People think I have ADD but I know that I
Oh look a chicken!
Do not...
HaveADamnNiceDay(08/18/2008)
Hehehe. sometimes I do wonder if I have ADD. I'm always incredibly distracted, and my mind is usually buzzing a thousand miles an hour. I wish I could get it to shut up sometimes and quit thinking and let me work!
thelma(08/19/2008)
Sigh. I used to have a 90s Geo Metro. I loved that car....
BPFH(08/19/2008)
Ah, yes, the 1990s Geo (later Chevy, made by Suzuki either way) Metro. A tin rat-trap. Got 48 mpg. And mine got totaled by a 16-year-old in a Ford F-150 who'd been driving solo for all of three weeks. *sigh*
(Oh, and Phelps is 23--born 30 June 1985 according to Wikipedia.)
Catbox(08/19/2008)
I had a cobalt blue Geo Prizm. I got it from my Mom. We were talking over the week-end about how much we both loved that car....
I, too hate that all the summer stuff is on sale--sad--I had the summer off and don't want to go back to work.
But--I, like Phelps, swam today. I was a swimmer for 8 years as a work-out person and switched to running 3 years ago but still go through phases where I will swim instead of running or swim after running. I was born with a hip problem and periodically can't run so I swim. I fractured my foot last Aug. and couldn't run until January--so I swam. I like how the different strokes help different parts of your body---I do a lot of backstroke because it strengthens the muscles under your chest so your bust is great and the backstroke also keeps your waist trim--it strengthens all the muscles really well from your waist up.
Catbox(08/19/2008)
And F.Y.I.--in the larger pools, if you do 76 lengths ( a lap is 2 lengths), that equals a mile:) There are also beauty benefits--you can deep condition your hair under that swim cap and your feet are always exfoliated and stay nice. And you go through life feeling a little bit cleaner than most people. Great if your skin is problematic.
HaveADamnNiceDay(08/19/2008)
Ha! I used to have a 1990 geo metro! I LOVED that car! It was complete crap! It did, however, get incredible gas mileage (because it only had three cylinders!. I got no respect on the road in that car! It had ONE working wiper, two crunched bumpers (my dad got pinched between a big pickup and another car in front of him--and he had a broken collarbone at the time too while he was driving the thing), the oil always leaked out of it ( I could only keep it to like 1 or 2 quarts), and one of the windows stopped working and wouldn't roll down. Man, those were the days! I only filled that car up twice a month, and it cost me ten dollars to do it! It's too bad I had to eventually get rid of it. It sprang a coolant leak I couldn't afford to fix. It still refused to die, though!
SouthernProgrammer(08/20/2008)
You guys are making laugh at the comments on your cars. I guess everyone has had a first car that they remember fondly because it was their first taste of FREEDOM! In my case, my first car was a 1966 Chevy Corvair Corsa. It was bought from a neighbor and was in good shape and I paid for it (all $800) myself after saving up for a few years. I remember the car had a 6 cylinder air cooled motor (like the old VW's) and had 4 carbs that were he|| to keep tuned. I did learn how to tune it from a mechanic friend of my dad. The fun thing about the car was I had it during the mid to late 70's when the car companies began strangling new cars with pollution devices and lowering their horsepower ratings. Due to this, the new Trans Am's, Camaro's, and Firebirds did not have much more power than my little Vair. Naturally, a lot of weekend racing took place and while the TA's, Camaro's and Firebirds would beat the Vair on a straight road (but not by much!), I would get them to try and follow me through a very curvy road that took us through some marshlands and the Corvairs four wheel independent suspension and rear engine would let me blast almost full speed through the curves and I would emerge at the end a full minute or two before anyone else.
Back to our regularly scheduled post...
Catbox(08/20/2008)
My first car was 1976 Nove--350 engine, 4-door, dual exhaust, powder blue. When I bought it it had holes in the floor--right underneath the gas pedal and the brake. My boyfriend took a cookie sheet, cut it to size and riveted it to the floor of the car and also sealed it with some glue. It worked great--even when I went through really deep puddles only a little water would come up around the cookie sheet. I still have the original keys to that car.
But please don't do anything about it, because your stories are hilarious and always make me laugh!
My first car was a 1985 Chrysler Fifth Avenue---wooo! Gun Metal Grey, with grey leather interior. It was 9 years old when I bought it in '94. You could drive it down the road, car running and remove the keys from the ignition and hand them to your passenger. I relished doing that while casually saying "here, could you hold these for a second please?" Oh the look on their faces was PRICELESS!
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