The Southern View

I don't know how to dress.   No, I don't mean that I am sitting here typing this entry in the buff, I just don't know how to get my clothes to match.   Looking around me, I think this is a common problem amoung techie type people.   Perhaps they think as I do when I start dressing in the morning.

Underwear - Check, can't forget that again...
Socks - Check.
Now, what pants to wear?   Hmmm, well dockers never go out of style and I only have 12 pairs! 
Ok, what shirt to wear?   Well, this is clean so I'll put that on!
Hey!  I'm on a roll here!   Ok, steady SP steady!  Lets calm down and find some shoes....SNEAKERS!

And off I go on my merry way out the door hoping my wife won't catch me and tell me to change!

Me (Strolling out the door): Bye! I'm off to work! 

Wife: STOP!  You aren't wearing THAT are you?!?

Me: Uh...yeah? 

Wife:  But you are one color from your neck DOWN!  You are all TAN!

What my wife doesn't get is this is actually strategic planning on my part, a lot of the conference rooms have tan walls and I figure if the meeting is boring I can just lean against the wall and - with the exception of my face - disappear like a chameleon!

(Quick scene of big meeting)

Director: Anyone seen SP?  I'd like to get his input.
Manager:  I thought I saw his head go floating by and out the door but I decided I was seeing things, me must be tied up.

The problem with my fashion sense is I am a bit color blind.  This has actually been documented by my eye doctor, I don't see distinguish between certain colors very well which is compounded by the fact I am a guy.   Add the fact that I am a bit of a techno-geek and you have a fashion disaster!

Another compounding factor is that the company I work for has a casual dress code.  As long as you meet your goals and dress within certain guidelines you can pretty much wear what you want.   Most of the people I work with wear jeans or dockers, short sleeve shirts and sneakers.

Therein lies the problem:  It is due to this that I have noticed that ANYONE who has a sense of style gets promoted to the top!

For the most part, 95% of the managers I have dealt with are competent people who do a very good job and it is easy to see why they were hired.    It is the other 5% that I am convinced were only hired because they look fantastic in a suit!    

Case in point:  A few years back a sharp looking guy was hired for a starting management position in an engineering department at the company I am employed at.   This guy dressed as if he fell out of a business magazine and quoted all the latest manager techno-babble at meetings which impressed upper management to no end.

However, when he was NOT in a meeting his contributions to management included the following rules:

(And I am serious about the following)

#1:  Use push pins with a SINGLE color on bulletin boards so not to distract the reader.
#2:  Do not use books that are taller than 8" on the top shelf of the cubicle so the manager can have a clear view of the work area when gazing out of the office.
#3:  When making reports in Excel, stick to the primary colors red, blue and yellow when making charts.
#4:  Outline your work area objects with tape so you will know where to place them.    Workers actually had to outline an area in tape with the words "Stapler" for an area where the stapler would reside!  

Now I realize number 4 comes from the 'Kaizen' philosphy which comes from Toyota's constant improvement manufacturing process but I personally think marking off area's for one's stapler, phone, and pencil holder is a bit much. 

However, in spite of all these odd rules this manager was eventually booted up to a CEO position which he stayed at for one week before leaving our company.  Rumor has it that he laid some tape down in the hallway and wrote the words EXIT and marched out never to be seen again...

I have seen so many people promoted for 'looking good' that I am sure I could go to the Happy Days insane asylum, dress someone up in a proper suit and he would pass our interview process and be put into management.

Sample Interview:

HR Person:  So tell me about your previous work experience.

SP's candidate:  I like cheese!

HR Person: Uh...ok so why should we hire you?

SP's candidate:  I like cheese!

HR Person whispering to HR Manager: That guy makes no sense!

HR Manager: I know but look at the cut of his suit!  Make him an offer!

In addition to people being promoted for looking good in a suit, I have also observed people that I believe to have an extreme amount of intelligence be passed over simply because they look as if they have just pulled their clothes out of dryer.  

Case In Point:  There is a manager who works here that I believe is one of the most intelligent people in the organization.   He is a very big guy that used to be a weight lifter and has kept his shoulders and large arms, unfortunately he has a penchant for not styling his hair and wearing clothes that are a bit too small.   Just imagine Magilla Gorilla wearing corporate casual clothes that he stole off of Mr. Peebles and carrying a briefcase, this will help you get the idea.

This manager has pulled the company out of precarious situations more than once and has come up with some amazing practical ideas that led to huge cost savings.   In spite of his accomplishments he has not moved any higher than the position he has held for years while others around him have been promoted for such outstanding contributions as getting a "letter to the editor" published.

Now, I don't mean that ALL people with a fashion sense are lacking intelligence and all intelligent people are incapable of dressing nicely.  I am simply pointing out the 5% that either should be promoted due to their merits or are being promoted without any discernable merits.

What are your experiences?   Do you have any managers that were promoted simply because they knew how to dress?