Since my last blog was on some of the paradoxical things that occur at holiday office parties, I feel a duty to report on some of the shennanigans that went on at a company party held last night.

Let me say right up front that the party was held at a nice local restaurant. The food and service was great. I got to meet some of my girlfriend's co-workers, who were also nice.

The things that went wrong were predictable, and in fact prove my thesis that even the best-intentioned office holiday parties can go wrong.

Though we arrived pretty much at the official start time of the cocktail hour, it was obvious that a number of folks had been there for some time. One of the managers stood by the entrance drunkenly asking for hugs from women arriving. Probably harmless, but if one of these ladies complains, it will not be a joyous noel for this dude...

Dunkin' Donuts gift cards were handed out at the door. A nice gesture, but they were only good for $5! As has been pointed out before, how about skipping the party and giving out larger amounts?

After dinner, it was time to raffle off gift bags. My girlfriend works for a national retail chain, and the bags were stocked with items from the store. Unfortunately, people seemed to know that the bags were filled with overstocked or discounted items. Ouch!

Also, these kind of raffles are very much subject to Murphy's Law. Nearly every one went to a table in the center of the room. The murmers of disapproval were audible.

Then the store's GM stood up to say thanks. A clearly intoxicated employee shouted out that he should sing a carol.

Clearly irritated, the GM said "I'll have you singing a different song next week!"

"You're fired, you're fired, you're fired" chorused a group of nearby co-workers.

Topping the festivities, a lesbian supervisor had brought in her karaoke set-up to provide music. Not a bad idea, but after swigging a number of drinks, she suddenly announced that she had been requested to sing. Her choice of tunes? Rudolph? We wish you a Merry Christmas? Nope. It was Melissa Ethridge's "The Only One".

A gay male co-worker seated at our table buried his head in his hands and groaned.

As stated before it wasn't a bad party. It seems as if the funds and energy spent on the party were directed on doing something nice for everyone who worked at the store, that the true spirit of the holidays would be honored without the pitfalls of a public gathering where booze is served.