As you sit down to a turkey with all the trimmings or just a turkey sub, know that I wish you the very best this holiday season.

One way to make it better it to make sure that the people you share the holidays and the rest of the year are worthy of your company. Sure, you probably think that your Aunt Agnes is boring or your brother is always bragging about his new job, car, house, whatever, but that's not what I'm talking about...

It occured to me a few years ago that your life is like a small nightclub. If you're not careful about who gets seated, who works there, and who is allowed to stay, they can literally take over or even wreck the place.

Case in point. My adoptive father informed me after my mom's death that he "hated my guts", that I always had to be the important one, I was a useless piece of crap, etc. That was 5 1/2 years ago and I haven't seen or spoken to him since.

He always had been critical, and in some ways hateful. I have an autistic son who used to "toe dance" a lot when excited. He used to call him "twinkletoes" with a snuff. When I got a divorce from a cheating spouse, he blamed her behaviors on me and said I was now "over a barrel".  I guess that being a dad just wasn't for him. Regardless, I was determined to remove this awful creature from my life.

There are many that say that I'm the bad guy for staying away from him. I've kicked these people out too. My real friends and supporters say what he did was horrendous and urge me not to think about it. The others want me to almost repent for doing what any sane person would.

Just like a nightclub filled with unruly patrons, if they are allowed to stay they will heckle the entertainers, pinch the waitresses and punch the bartender. And they will howl bloody murder as they are tossed out...

I now realize that putting up with my adoptive father's barbs and abuse led me to be much more tolerant of crap from others, including employers and co-workers. No more...

This means being very careful of what you do or say around most people. I like to be fun and spontaneous. I now reserve this for people that have proven they are worthy of my trust.

For many reading this, it's probably a no-duh. But hopefully at least one person will see the light in an otherwise darkening life. Probably because the unwelcome patrons are now breaking all the lamps...

Toss 'em out, clean up the wreckage, and start with the knowledge that the privilege of your trust and friendship must be earned and maintained!