Here at sit in my grey walled, grey floored cubicle staring at the grey ceiling wondering where I went wrong in life.
There was a time when I found the corporate working world both challenging and exciting. I met lots of new folks, learned lots of new things, aspired to someday make a difference in the company.
Today the company is the same company I joined 5 years ago. But I am no longer the same person. I have learned the company is not intersted in keeping my work life interesting. They hired me for a particular role, and they have no plans on ever expanding that role. I've mastered my job, and even spent the last few years self-learning new things to grow my capabilities. The company pats me on the back and says good job, but they don't have any need for new skills. I try offering new ideas and improving on existing products, only to be told that is not my job, and if they wanted anything changed they will tell me when and how.
Each day I come here I feel I am losing more and more of who I was and who I am. I want to leave but to go where? Who is to say the next company won't be the same? How do you pick the right company? How do you know they are not just telling you what you want to hear to get you in the door? Then it is back to the same old same old....
Sometimes I feel the problem is me. Why can't I just be happy doing nothing of importance in life? But then I see and read about folks that are making a difference. I remember the old me. And I start daydreaming new possibilities and ways to make a change in my life. One of these days I know I will find my way. You just can't stop dreaming.
POST A COMMENTcorporateSlave(05/16/2006)
This is well put. I have had many of the same thoughts in life too. I recently made a change where my handle here of "corporate slave" no longer applies. I just got fed up. And coming here and reading a lot of what people say got me off my ass I guess. I took a job in a museum and I only work 4 days. It pays my mortgage, food and car but not too much more. I had to make a lot of hard working promises to my employer because grey cubicle wall experience isn't exactly museum experience but they gave me a chance and I've never been happier. I'm in the process of selling my house to accomodate my new life and allow me to save, but it was a lot more house than I needed anyway. I realized I was working in a box so I could live in an upscale box. Now hopefully the market will pick up and my house will sell. Good luck, dreamer. It's worth it.
just me(05/16/2006)
I have this day dream every single day. =(
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