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The Searsing Truth "Where Do They Get These People?"


Posted on 01/24/2006 by cnubelevit
Viewed: 657 times

Brothers and Sister, today there is no sermon (awwwwwww). Today I am going to profile some of our Glorious co-workers in management(no real names, of course). My first "victim" is a guy I'll call...Bowser. This guy is definetly a throw-back to the 50's and he's only 40 something. Slicked back greying hair (ducktail?), leather jacket, bluejeans and all. Bigtime Gloryhound. Better hide your thunder if you don't want it to end up in his pocket. Next..."THE INCREDIBLE GEEKASAURUS REX". This guy commits fashion suicide on a daily basis. Exhibit A: 70's style glasses, pocket protector, checkerboard red, green and white polyester shirt (no...really), faded baggy blue jeans (too short) and to top it off black socks with brown zip-up ankle boots. (Just makes you want to gouge your eyes out, don't it?) He's everybodies' buddy, well at least until they turn their backs. If you need a knife to eat lunch with, just take it from the back of the last person he talked to. And then there's "ZIPPY THE PIN HEAD". He has a 1980's fade that Vanilla Ice would be jealous of and has a pear shaped head (hence the "Zippy" title). The laws of physics is lost on that 5th button down on his waaaaayyy to tight oxford shirt (must be held on by Spidey silk) that's stuffed into a pair of jeans that gives his package the effect of having a CAMEL TOE (excuse me, just the thought brings lunch up in my throat). If (God forbid) that immense beer gut ever breaks loose, that 5th button will become a deadly titanium piercing projectile. And onto "Edith". Yes the dingbat. Trying to hold a coherent conversation with this bimbo makes you want to scratch your brain with a pitchfork. She can't stop GIGGLING (NO, not just at me). One of the upper eschelon was trying to explain the operation of a certain program to "La Hyenia" and she couldn't stop snickering. Dazed, he walked over to me and asked, "Should we have her drug tested?" and then asked me to help her. An hour and a half later I was ready for the padded suite at the Granola (what ain't fruits and flakes is nuts) Hilton. These are just some of the associates (?) that I work with. Pray for me.

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post a commentPOST A COMMENTCorporate Ladder Rung: Middle ManagerSpencer(01/24/2006)
Dude, you're nuts.

Corporate Ladder Rung: Middle ManagerRedStapler(01/24/2006)
Awesome!

vanilla ginger(01/24/2006)
Decaf, dude, Decaf. And try breathing.

Corporate Ladder Rung: Middle ManagerTheNewGuy(01/24/2006)
Hilarious. Oxygen...it's a necessity. Or so I"ve been told.

Corporate Ladder Rung: VPcnubelevit(01/24/2006)
To vanilla ginger,spencer,red stapler and the new guy : remember "Falling Down", Hell, I can't get back up!

Corporate Ladder Rung: Mailroommanagethis(01/25/2006)
Dude, sounds like you work with the cast of the "Rocky Horror Picture Show".

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