Posted on 11/22/2005 by Walk the Planks
Viewed: 686 times
Yes, every office has bird droppings in one way, shape or form. The little birds that whisper in the boss's ear and tell the boss what they want the boss to hear -- bird droppings. Unfortunately, for the boss with blinders on, birds can often lead them straight to an oversized pile of steaming hot droppings. Whether the bird droppings actually exist or were created as a figment of the bird's imagination remains to be seen. A boss who can sift his way through the droppings to see what's real and what's not is worth his weight in gold. It's a shame for the bosses that let the birds lead them around blindly.
Every office has pigeons. They roost.
Every office has vultures. They prey on the unsuspecting.
Every office has chickens, too weak to fend for themselves.
Every office has peacocks, too superficial.
Every office has roosters. They're up before dawn.
Every office has parrots. They repeat everything that is said.
Every office has parakeets. They sit in their cages and chirp.
Every office has pelicans. Standing on one leg is just one of their many tricks.
Every office has tucans. Their noses are huge.
Every office has bluejays. They're always blue.
Every office has red robins. They'll rob you until you're red in the face with anger.
Every office has hens. They're the mothers who gossip, gab and sit on eggs.
Every office has ducks. They'll chase you around and quack.
Every office has humming birds. They're small and fly fast.
Every office has woodpeckers. They just keep taking chunks out of you.
POST A COMMENTkid44(11/22/2005)
In my office, the dumb and perplexed seem to get the promotions.
kid44(11/22/2005)
hummmm...interesting these undeserving promotions happened before turkey day
Walk the Planks(11/23/2005)
Eagles, these are rare. They spread their wings and gracefully glide.
YepBeenThereDoneThat(11/23/2005)
How about geese? They honk and make a lot of noise and bully people, but in the end really don't even matter.
c - -(11/23/2005)
and don't forget the hawks swooping down at an unsuspecting victim and tearing it to pieces.
Corporate Doormat(05/19/2006)
You are so talented. Ever think about writing greeting cards? This was very clever and so true.
Corporate Doormat(05/19/2006)
You are so talented. This was very clever and so true. Have you ever thought of writing for greeting cards?
HaveADamnNiceDay(05/20/2006)
There's also the night owls, who are always there long after you're gone. There are swans, who, though are beautiful and easy on the eyes are nasty as hell and will bite you in the @$$ if they feel threatened... Ravens--they always seem more present when the office "weather" is cool, cloudy and doomly--I mean gloomy! Their occasional squawks are great killjoys. Roadrunners--THey're never in the office, always out traveling to meet clients and stuff. Magpies--they talk incessantly and never shut up. Finches--they move a lot and make a lot of noise and seem to be doing a lot, but never get anything done since they're so busy chirping and hopping around. English House Sparrows-- Outsourced employees who clearly don't fit the company, so they destroy everything they touch very quickly, and the whole environment collapses. Red-tailed Hawks-- Graceful birds who are good luck if they are in your sphere, even for a millisecond. They always know what they want and what to do to get things done. You always manage to get a peripheral reward or credit in this bird's mere presence.
HaveADamnNiceDay(05/20/2006)
Don't get me started on the Storks.....
Walk the Planks (11/22/2005)
Oh, yeah, and every office has turkeys. They stand around with their mouths open, looking dumb and perplexed.
(1)
Company memo that Belfort Instruments needs to write but never will(6)
Well, almost quit...but not quite there yet...updated(1)
Backstabber(2)
I took the bait and now I feel trapped!!(1)
drunk off my rocker(3)
why you schould not put writing calk on your bosses car.(4) Blog Comments:
Another Advertiser Who Does Not Want Us to Think(7)
Mr. Bad Habits(3)
The Fear Factor(4)
An Uncomfortable Truth?(13)
The Internet? I Can Stop Anytime I Want!(3)
The Business of Change Management and Corporate Propaganda: Part 1(5)
What You're Talkin' About: The Most Recent Comments
Story Comments:
I HATE my BOSS!!!
Marketplace
Chase PerfectCard™ MasterCard®
APR: 14.24% Annual Fee: $0
Long term 0% introductory rate; double rebates on gas purchases for the first 90 days; rebates earned on purchases made at any gas station.
Miles Card from Discover® Card
APR: See terms & conditions Annual Fee: $0
0% introductory rate; reward program; bonus miles.
JetBlue Card from American Express®
APR: 18.24% Annual Fee: $40
Free access to rewards program; 5,000 bonus Award Dollars; low introductory rate for balance transfers.
comments (10)
post to digg | 
post to del.icio.us | 
e-mail it
POST A COMMENT
