Posted on 02/28/2007 by Elizabeth2648
Viewed: 337 times
I'm hoping I'm not the only one who has these feelings, so I figured this would be a good place to post.
There's this coworker of mine (isn't that how all of these start?) who makes a little more than I do for a job of the same responsibility level. The reason I know this is because she told me.
Anyway, she has a 2 year old. She's out all the time. I'm not sure she's even worked a full week since she's been here. When she puts in a "full" day (i.e. arriving anywhere between 9:30-10 and leaving at 5), she expects all these accolades and talks about how dedicated she is. Every time she accomplishes something (which basically means any time she does something in her job description) she goes to my boss for a pat on the back.
She missed an entire month and half for a back injury. Mind you, when she returned to work, she was wearing stilletto heels. Doesn't seem to be too smart for someone with back problems...
Every week, it's a different excuse. This week, her bratty kid bit other kids at daycare and got suspended for three days (yes, a 2 year old got suspended from daycare!). So she's out three days this week with nary a scolding.
I certainly don't envy her situation. Being a single mother must be really hard. However, it's really hard for me to conjure up sympathy when the entire staff has to follow the sick day/vacation day/general attendance policy but she is somehow exempt.
She does less work than any of us and makes more than a lot of us. I just can't understand this. At my company, my job (and most other jobs here) entail working sometimes really long hours. This is, in fact, a condition of employment that we all (well, most of us) accept. We all work very hard, with the exception of this one person. So how is this fair?
What I am worried about is why I care so much about what she's getting away with. Does anyone else harbor this kind of resentment towards colleagues?
#1: Is she getting away with behavior you can't do or haven't tried?
#2: If she managed to get time off for a back injury the company is probably stuck with her. Anytime they will try to bring her up on charges she will wave the back injury like a flag.
Elizabeth2648(02/28/2007)
I haven't tried her behavior--I don't have a 2 year old to use as an excuse for everything. Although it appears that those kinds of actions have no consequence, I can't bring myself to miss a lot of work--I feel I owe it to myself and my colleagues to show up and give it my best.
Freedomringer(02/28/2007)
This happens everywhere. Except the problem is there is really nothing we can do about it. I have a coworker who has a wife at home and a small preschool aged child. He is never here and always and I mean always is carting his kid somewhere. He is almost gone 3 hours everyday!!! Guess what he makes more money than me and is a junior technician. The boss gave him more money because he is married and has children. I don't really care too much because if I made more money, the goverment would take it from me anyways because I am single with no children. I do feel that favoritism of people with children is prevalent and I have just come to accept it as a part of life. I can understand that they have family obligations, it is just sometimes I think people milk it for all they can. I also think that this women is probably milking it for everything she can get. She might have lied to you about how much she makes as well. I have people I work with who get angry with me because I can go to the gym after work and they have to go pick up their kids at daycare, so it all works out in the end.
BillyBitMe(02/28/2007)
As a single mother, it's nice when a company gives a bit of understanding. On the flip side, I hate when others take advantage of it.
And it really bothers me that people with no kids throw a fit (not that you are, your arguments are justified) when we have to take a day off because of it.
Quit doing her work for her. I know it's easier than it sounds... and if you do end up doing her work, make sure you log it.
There isn't really much you can do but dislike her for abusing the system. And when she's going to really need a day off, she won't be able to have it as she's used up all her sick time.
She wants the day after Christmas off? Too bad, she doesn't have any paid days left.
Good luck.
SouthernProgrammer(02/28/2007) I feel I owe it to myself and my colleagues to show up and give it my best.
Elizabeth, this is a great attitude to have and I highly encourage it. However, I also encourage you to look after yourself. At my first real job I gave it my all, I was single, no family and I worked 60 hour weeks and thought everyone should do so. I worked weekends and missed out on a lot of friendships because I thought the job was important. I then left that job for another one and came back a few months to check on the company and found, to my surprise, they were still chugging along just fine without me! I'm glad I learned that lesson early. I now leave to take care of my family any time they need me, family comes first...period.
SouthernProgrammer(02/28/2007)
Somehow my entire post didn't make it over, my comment "Great attitude to have" was directed at Elizabeth for stating "I feel I owe it to myself and my colleagues to show up and give it my best."
Freedomringer(02/28/2007)
Wow Southerpro-, I agree work should not be everything. Put your life in perspective and enjoy where you are right now, whether you are single or married with kids. It all works out in the end, we all go to the same place and we don't get time off. In a hundred years from now, even your great grandchildren will not care who you were or what you did for a living! Enjoy life because it is short. I don't ever want to have children but I love my nieces and nephews like they are my own, but I absolutely love my freedom.
WalkingInMyOwnShoes(02/28/2007)
When suffering with real back problems you do not wear high heals! Your "young mother" is either gaming her employer or is connected to somebody important. Nothing lasts forever. After a change in management I see a rude awakening in her future.
bigblue(02/28/2007)
I don't get this--I keep reading various comments regarding various posts and several comments say something like the guilty party will get what they deserve; their commupance; their day will come,etc..., you get the point. I've worked where I work for 17 years and no one ever gets their commupance or what is coming to them. The crappy get better and better situations. Does it really work so different in the corporate world than that of the field of education? If it does--I'm going to switch earlier than I thought!
WalkingInMyOwnShoes(02/28/2007)
Unfortunately your observation is correct. This goes for any public service and family owned companies. However even there young mothers in high heels grow older and their little brats grow into juvenile delinquents. Other than that, you have to do some research. If you can chat up some employees from a certain company and listen to their complaints or praises you can deduce if preferential treatment is tolerated, even encouraged by management.
bigblue(03/01/2007)
My child is a young teen now so he can stay home alone when he is ill. But when he was too young, My husband and myself made an agreement--we rotated every day as to who would stay home. This worked out really well--we were able to show our employers and co-workers that we cared for our child, were equal in our marriage but mostly that we cared about our jobs and our co-workers and were not trying to take advantage of the situation.
I don't know if you know this but if your kid is sent home from school with a fever, they have to be feverless for 24 hours before they return to school--which guarantees that your kid cannot go back to school the next day. It is an inconvenient rule--sometimes kids can be well enough to return to school the next day.
I can't imagine that people could in good conscience milk this. Bad Karma. And breeds resentment in the workplace. My husband and myself must have been really good with our method because all the secretaries would tell me to stay home, even an extra day, because a child needs his Mother when he is ill. Our rule helped us avoid a lot of potential trouble.
BillyBitMe(03/01/2007)
Karma doesn't just come back where it first started. It comes back when and where you least think it would.
bigblue(03/01/2007)
to BillyBitMe: Not always--sometimes things come full circle--and full circle may be an off shoot of Karma.Or Karma at its apex or acme; it's perfection--Karma.
bigblue(03/02/2007)
Sorry-hit wrong button--or if Karma comes back where you least expect it would--it that is the principle of Karma then it coming back to the appropriate thing would be the last place I would expect it to show up.
oh_my_aching_head(04/23/2007)
We used to have a girl, well woman I guess, like that. Her big weapon was crying all the time. She would go into my boss's office and cry that Carly (her brat) had a fever, or chicken pox, or lice or whatever and they would give her time off just to get her out. It was totally unfair, it was like they had given up on her. She wasn't expected to do one quarter of the work of the rest of us in her position. Thank god, they finally got rid of her when she got a new job, which by the way only lasted three weeks. She wanted to come back and they told her no way.
WalkingInMyOwnShoes(04/23/2007)
A lot of us had working mothers and some of us have a soft spot for the sick child. I lost track of all the sob stories I heard while doing the work of 3. There just comes a point were enough is enough and the realization of being taken advantage of.
the confessor(04/26/2007)
I think your statement about wearing stiletto heels following a supposed back injury says it all...she is showing off her sex appeal and implying that her back was hurt for other than "professional reasons"... (read "Sexual Un-Healing" in my Pofessional Confessional blog archives)
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