This probably is going to sound a little whiny, but I need to get it out anyway, and could use some advice. I have been at my job for almost 4 years. I am a part time deli clerk at a local supermarket. Part time is sort of an understatement. I actually work 40 hrs a week. That's not really the problem. The problem is I work all nights lately. I dont mind doing my share of evenings and such, but there is more to it. I work my butt off. I do everything myself, while everyone else slacks off. A lot of times I am alone from 3PM on, I work my shift with no breaks or lunch. My husband works days (7 to 3) so I dont see him hardly at all for days at a time. It is starting to wear on our relationship. I can't say anything to them cause I am already sort of on the bosses bad side because I called out a couple days ago. I was sick in bed throwing up and had a fever of 103, and all he could say was "I have nobody to work tonight. I am going to have to hire someone to take your place." So I have the feeling that talking is not going to get me anywhere. What I want to do is quit. It is either quit or get a divorce. I dont want my job to come before my marriage anymore. I went to an interview today, but they are offering me over a dollar less an hr, and a temp position to begin with. So I could quit and screw myself over a couple months down the road when i get laid off. Plus if I dont get hired for Full Time, I dont get any benefits. Again, I have been a deli clerk for almost 4 yrs...I have tried there for full time, and each time there is an excuse why I dont get it. One time it was I didnt have enough experience. Another time it was we're not going to hire any full timers right now. They are hiring for a full timer right now, but I wont get it. They'll bring in someone else. I guess my question is should I just up and quit and forget about another job til I actually have time to look? My husband brings home about 600 every 2 weeks, and our rent is 725 a month. Should we just struggle financially for about a month just so I can be happy again? Thank you for any advice.
POST A COMMENTavid reader(10/05/2006)
If you are part-time there, perhaps it's time to start enforcing that status. No one is going to stick up for you or take care of you except yourself. There will be people, however, who make the rules for your life and it is up to you whether or not you follow them. Right now, your job is making the rules for your life and you're following them. It's time to make your own rules based on what is important to you and from your story, I see that is your health and your marriage. Two VERY IMPORTANT and wonderful things to have as priorities!! =) So tell your job that you are considered part-time there and that you will only be working part-time hours. This will allow you to keep some money coming in and give you the time to find another job. And start scrimping and saving money where you can this very second in case your job decides to let you go. When you tell them, be firm and give them whatever reason you want, your health, your marriage, whatever but be firm and clear and mature about it. Look them in the eye. When (and they probably will) they schedule you for more hours or bug you or trick you in staying late and working longer hours, be firm again. Leave. Stick to part-time hours only. They will either accept your new schedule or replace you, so be prepared for the worst. Hopefully, you'll be able to at least pull the shorter hours off for a few weeks and be able to find a new job in that time. What do you think? Best of luck to you! You sound like an intelligent person who has her priorities right and will find her way very soon. Keep your head up!
Cuddlebears7278(10/05/2006)
Thanks for the advice... it was a big help. I have actually mentioned this problem to my supervisor (about getting home at 11 at night and having to get up at 5:30 to bring hubby to work) and thats when i started working all nights. Which proves something is going on here. I mentioned it to her again... still nothing, still on all nights. Told her i dont want 40 hrs cause i am not getting the pay, tells me i have to work 40 cause we dont have anyone else. Gee, I wonder why there is nobody else. Maybe cause everyone else has quit already. I don't want to make anyone short here, that's not my intention, but I am in therapy. I go once every 2 weeks now, but was going twice a week. Some guy got my address off the internet and forced his way into my apt and onto me. I was sexually assaulted a couple months ago by this guy. Got no time off. Worked one day, some guy freaked me out, and I fled. Almost got fired, therapist called my boss and spared me my job. Think boss kept me on just to make himself look good. I dont have the right to time off, I had to fight for my vacation that had been on the calendar for 9 months. And other coworkers whine about that they have to use their time off by the end of the yr... think I am to the point where I am willing to struggle financially for a while. Or take this temp job and see if it becomes permanent. My benefits arent worth staying there for.
SouthernProgrammer(10/05/2006)
CBear, unfortunately you are in a losing situation here. If you continue to work 40 hours...they will not hire anyone else. Why should they!? They have someone who will DO The work (you). If you quit, they will be forced to do what they should have done in the first place...hire someone. 20 years from now, no-one will remember that you worked those 40 hours out to help the team. But you and your husband WILL remember this time as being very difficult. Your marriage and well being is the most important thing you have, I say work out a plan with your husband. Take some time off and rest, greet your husband when he comes home and enjoy yourself. I am SURE there are plenty of jobs out there, so you have to take a cut in pay. The extra $1 an hour you make now is probably going to the therapist and anti-depressant medication. Look out for yourself, your manager isn't.
sheila(10/05/2006)
I agree with all who have commented. It is just not worth it. I was in a similar situation to you. I was having problems in my personal life with my fiance. Work was causing problems and I worked with a real pig of a boss. I was torn because I liked my job (mostly) but there were things that needed my attention at home and I lacked the energy to devote to them because of work related stress due to a creep of a boss and an unethical HR department. I finally decided that it wasn't worth it and I was off of work for about a month because I quit without a job. But I tell you, I am much much happier now and I think the fact that I quit for my own sake and for my personal life's sake has made me proud and has boosted the way I think about myself. I felt so low before because I was being a doormat and that doesn't make ANYBODY feel good about themselves. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and things will get better once you take things into your own hands and stick up for yourself. Sounds like you're on the road to doing this. I wish you luck too. One thing I got learned from this website is that people treat you how you teach them to treat you. I tell myself that everyday and it helps. If you teach people that you will work longer hours and be their whipping girl by just doing it, that's how they will learn to treat you on a regular basis and you will be miserable. I wish you the best of luck and the people on this website are very wise and helpful if you need support.
blola(10/05/2006)
My dear, you are in a crisis and by all means your health and peace of mind should be your number one priority. From what I have read, you are a very bright, ambitious, hard-working lady with a lot of compassions for your fellow workers (who don't appear to deserve it.) Every human being deserves to be treated as such and we all fall prey to sickness at times. For a supervisor to treat you with such disdain when you call in to let them know that you are sick is deplorable considering the trauma that has occurred in your life. Anyone with a modicum of moral ethics would have requested that you take care of yourself and to let them know how you are progressing. But, you are not working for moralists, but rather desentized people who have no respect for you or sympathy for what you have and are induring. They could never fathom the strength that you possess. Stop thinking about the salary cut and focus on your assets that will propel you to be their best employee and in a couple of months (if not less) you will be rewarded. You are very brave and courageous and you deserve to around caring and kind people who will help you to elevate your self-confidence. Remember, you are a winneer!
labtech(10/06/2006)
I can certainly sympathize with your job situation. My better half is in a similar spot - he's getting wretched hours, 3-11 2 nights a week, then 7-3 shifts, then 12-8:30 shifts, on what seems to be a random schedule. He was promised the 7-3 shift, of course, but with grocery, THE STORE COMES FIRST and everything else is dead last. And he's been working for a grocery retailer for 12 years, so don't think it will ever get any better. They will probably fire you, especially if you're in an at-will state, Union or not, but then, you would be better off in a 'real' job (and it might be better if they did fire you, then you could collect unemployment). I'd take the dollar pay cut, save my sanity and my marriage, and skeedaddle out of there.
Cuddlebears7278(10/06/2006)
I gave a notice yesterday. Told them Nov. 4 is my last day. Still gives me a few paychecks and time to find something else. My boss asked me why I was quitting, and I simply told him we'll talk about it later right now is not a good time. My deli manager doesnt know yet, but I did leave her a note and I am sure there is going to be hell to pay since my note was not a nice one. But, I need to do what is for me right. I may be unemployed for a while, oh well, that is the way life goes sometimes. They tried to get me to stay late tonight... I came in at 6:30 this morning (wasnt scheduled til 9 but there was nobody there to do sale signs, so I took on the job myself) the night girl didnt want to come in, and they tried to get me to work til 9 tonight!!! Told them I have plans and it wont hurt her to come in for 5 hrs. She came in 2 hrs late (which was okayed by me), and I left at 4. Still a long day, but it could have been much longer. I am going to also cut down my hrs for the few weeks til i leave, with one 1 to 2 night shifts a week.
SouthernProgrammer(10/06/2006)
CBears - Let me give you a little constructive criticism. Don't take this as an attack but advice for the future. > I came in at 6:30 this morning (wasnt scheduled til 9 but there was nobody there to do sale signs, so I took on the job myself > If you have been doing this in the past, you may have given a message that you don't mind coming in early. Meanwhile, you may be getting mad inwardly while everyone else thinks you don't mind doing this! > in 2 hrs late (which was okayed by me > Again, this is a mixed message. Your original post had you upset and here you approve of someone coming in late...on YOUR time. I hope you and your therapist are building your self confidence up. You need to know when to say "NO" for your own well being. Good Luck! I am glad you are getting out of your situation. Don't be surprised if they ask you to stay, and if they do....and you are interested, Sit down and make realistic expectations.
Cuddlebears7278(10/07/2006)
Thank you Southern Programmer... reason I came in early... 1. There really wasnt anyone to do sale signs and while I dont care for the way they treat me, I do care about the customers, as they come before everything else. 2. My hubby had to be to work for 7 anyway, so it saved some gas. Reason why I didn't get too mad at my coworker... she's not one of the ones I have problems with, and she was really, truely ill which i even felt guilty about making her come in in the first place. I know what it is like to be sick. At least she came in. I actually did talk to my deli manager today, and she is pretty understanding. She told me I do what I need to do. She is going to start working one night a week. Plus, everyone else is going to start working at least one night a week. Funny thing is, gave my tenative notice Thursday, they had hired someone by saturday. So if you do put your foot down firmly, things do happen. Maybe now I may stay on. But only for 20 hrs to get my full benefits.
SouthernProgrammer(10/08/2006)
20 Hours a week sounds good, then you can do your dog-walking business the other time. I think that is a good idea, great exercise and you can walk without worry. Who in their right mind would bother someone surrounded by dogs?
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