The following are actual resume blunders as reported by Fortune:

"I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience"

"I have lurnt WordPerfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheat progroms"

"Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year"

"Reason for leaving last job: Maturity leave"

"Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions"

"Failed bar exam with relatively high grades"

"It's best for employers that I not work with people"

"Let's meet, so you can "ooh" and "aah" over my experience"

"You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time"

"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details"

"I was working for my mom until she decided to move"

"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage"

"As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments"

"Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far"

"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store"

"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as "job-hopping". I have never quit a job"

"Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning.
Could not work under those conditions"

"The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers"

"Finished eighth in my class of ten"

"References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind me"

"My intensity and focus are at inordinately high levels,
and my ability to complete projects on time is unspeakable."

"Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business."

Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"