Fantasizing about quitting my job...

Oy. What a night. Thank God it's Saturday. Yesterday my harpy boss didn't come to work because she was too tired. She has a sleeping disorder, thank God, so there are days when she comes in late or not at all. It's great for me. However, just being in her office is bad enough for me to keep entertaining thoughts of quitting. Last night, my husband and I fell asleep (as usual) on the couch in front of the TV. I awoke at 6:30 this morning and roused the spouse and went off to bed. However, once I laid down, I couldn't sleep (which is mostly unusual, but not uncommon). I couldn't stop thinking about my boss. I couldn't stop thinking about work. I was second-guessing every memory and trying to figure out how I could address things differently. I laid awake for an hour and a half torturing myself over this. I started to fantasize about how I'd tell my boss I was going to quit and what I thought of her. I imagined going into a tirade about how I hate the way she treats me, how rude she is and how she expects me to be able to read her mind and wait on her hand and foot. I think she's incredibly unprofessional, she thinks it's ok to distribute a letter to her clients indicating her illnesses and her recent attempt at suicide. While these are all very human issues, I don't feel it's appropriate to talk about such personal things so openly in the workplace, especially to your clients. She bosses me around, and demeans me whenever I mess up. I'm still learning how to do a job she never defined. Of course I'm going to be wobbly.
One of these days, Harpy, one of these days... Bang! Zoom! Right in the ass!
I've even fantasized about just not showing up one day, and quitting by phone, telling her to mop her own floors and make her own meals and coffee, and clean out her own car.
If I ever get out of the harpy's cave, and find another job, I'll have a 'how I quit my job' story up here in a flash!
I'm still working on finding another job. Everyone cross your fingers. I need prayers too. I just HAVE to get away from this unstable psycho! (and here I thought she was going to be different--I'm way too trusting).

POST A COMMENTBookwoman(02/14/2009)
Maybe you should look into jobs at your local community colleges/universities. Those kinds of jobs come with tuition benefits....and as a rule, the nuts are usually more interesting than completely irritating.

Your boss is nut job. I think that even if you told her she was a nut job, though, she'd probably have no idea what you're talking about. That's why she's a nut.

Good luck with the job hunt. There's a decent job out there for you, one that's better than not. Have you ever tried the temp agencies? I used to work through some of them, and I always felt like I had a safety net. If I ended up working for a crazy, I could go to the agency and tell THEM the boss was crazy and why I couldn't possibly stay. They did the 'quitting' for me. This always worked except for the one time I came across one of the crazies working for the temp agency. Good thing is that there are usually several temp agencies to work with.

sympathetic reader(02/15/2009)
I feel sorry for your plight. Don't lose sleep over this woman she obviously has emotional issues. When she criticizes you, she probably is using words and phrases that were used on her. When someone is cruel to me I get hurt feelings just like you do but I always wonder how were they raised. ie, Were her parents monsters?

If she has made it known that she attempted suicide has she also made it known that she is seeing a psychiatrist?

I had a boss who was merciless in her criticisms of me and everyone else. On my FIRST day working for her I had to take her to the nurses station during her panic attack. Her blood pressure shot down to a dangerous level. I had to wait until her boyfriend got there to pick her up. I witnessed her moment of clarity as she talked about making changes in her life. She told me her father told her seeing a shrink wouldn't be a good idea because then she'd lose her spitfire. In retrospect I should have told her, her dad was an idiot and she should run to counseling.
My whole point is I couldn't please this woman. No one could please this woman. All the time I took to try harder and be perfect was a waste of my time. All the time I took regretting my mistakes was a waste of time too. She's TOXIC you can't change that. Invest that time in getting away from her.

SouthernProgrammer(02/15/2009)
I would quit by phone, your boss is too unstable for a face to face confrotation. Good Luck!

HaveADamnNiceDay(02/15/2009)
I think she's indirectly indicated she's seeing a shrink of some kind. Most tuesday afternoons she has blocked off so she can go see a doctor. I wondered why she sees this guy so much, but now I have to smack my forehad and say 'duh'. I've also stumbled across a fax from her doctor for a prescription for cymbalta, which is for depression. What I keep forgetting is that she has depression issues too, and I think that's what contributes to her odd mood swings. You see, one moment I'll make a mistake and she'll call me sloppy, and then I'll make her a cup of coffee and she says it's perfect. She almost never says "please" or "thank you". That drives me nuts. Being an honest and polite person, I expect the same of others, and it isn't too much of an expectation either.
Long before I applied to this job, I applied to an artsy ceramics place downtown and I didn't hear back from them until this week, indicating they'll be going through all the resumes they recieved for the next five weeks. If I can survive until then, (or try a temp agency like Bookwoman had suggested to me in a message), I can probably manage to live instead of just exist for the next five weeks.
Working for this lady has robbed me of so much engery when I get home I don't even really cook anymore, and I love to cook. I haven't touched my pencils in a while, either. I've even stopped reading books (and nobody ever sees me without a book). This person sucks all the joy out of my life. If it weren't for my husband, Life would have no meaning right now. I'd probably just say to hell with it all and quit and move in with my parents again.
I've learnd something about myself that is very important: No matter how much I try to toughen myself against unreasonable assailants, I will always be wounded when they strike.

sympathetic reader(02/16/2009)
As usual, I agree with SP. I hope you get the job you are applying for, soon. This sounds cold hearted but you owe this woman nothing. Once an employer crosses the line and acts like a monster, you have to protect yourself. Remember she is unstable and keeps a gun in her desk. No job is worth this.

HaveADamnNiceDay(02/16/2009)
Well, Reader, when you put it that way....
I happened to slap eyes on her scars today while I was helping her with some stuff in her office. Man, she meant business. When she attempted suicide, she slashed her wrists (vertically, so it's harder to repair the arteries and the suicide-ee exsanguinates quickly). She had some nasty scars.
I need to get out of here!
I also need to start carrying my knife again!

HaveADamnNiceDay(02/18/2009)
Today she blamed me for a problem that wasn't my fault. When she found out it wasn't my fault, she didn't even apologize, instead she hung up on me (she buzzed me on the phone to gripe at me, with her client in the room).
ARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!

SouthernProgrammer(02/18/2009)
Just keep looking for that other job, this woman is unstable. The day you find another job, just collect her dogs poops in a paper bag and place them in her car in a place she would never find them....

HaveADamnNiceDay(02/18/2009)
Yesterday she didn't come to work because she was tired again. I had such a great day, and I got so much work done. I even managed to get most of my stuff right. There was a thing with the schedule where I looked for a guy who was supposed to be there but wasn't, but then he popped up later out of nowhere--wierd. The schedule is a paper notebook calendar and an electronic online calendar. They have to agree for the boss lady to be happy. When I told her what I had seen, she said this was going to make her crazy if it kept happening. However, it wasn't my fault. I had a confirmation email telling me the guy had an appt, so I sent it to her.
I do much better at work when she isn't around...

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