Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss.

Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

Seagull Manager: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves.

Salmon day: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

Chainsaw consultant: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands.

Flight Risk: Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. "Don't bother asking him . . . he's 404, man."

Ohnosecond: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.

Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a "cube farm" (an office full of cubicles) and everyone's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

Cube Dusting: Surreptitiously passing wind while walking through a cube farm.

Computer Defenestrate: The act of throwing your computer out of a window.

Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards.

Mouse Potato: The online, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

Xerox Subsidy: Euphemism for taking free copies from one's workplace photocopier.