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September 30, 2005

Posted on 09/29/2005 by Alotta Candor
Viewed: 305 times

Dear Alotta,

I work for an up and coming women's retail chain. I love the products I sell, the chance for advancement and many things about the company—but HATE my boss. I am unsure how to deal with her. She steals customers from other employees and grabs the sales for herself. She is downright mean to employees and to the sales super and myself. She often replies in hateful tones and words; especially if she feels her "authority" is being threatened. She quickly loses her sense of humor. She told one part-timer that she stole the customer away from her because she could get more money out of her. I feel I was lied to in my interview. She told me that she did not micro-manage, she did not get angry because it was a waste of time. Oh and here is my favorite-we are a management team: "It's not just my store it's our store and you need to own it as much as I do." WHATEVER!! Anyway, how do I deal with this self-absorbed egomaniac and keep my job? I am hoping she gets fired or quits, as she doesn't last long at most jobs.

- Love my job, hate my boss

Dear Love,

In Alotta's experience, people who need to announce things that they are or are not, turn out to be the exact opposite of what they claimed to be. People who posess a certain character trait exhibit it in actions, not words. Consider the following: Did Fonzi ever go around telling people he was cool? No, because he was cool. Did Nixon go around telling people he was "not a criminal"? Yes, because he was a criminal.

Shameless pop culture references aside, bad seeds like your boss are incapable of growing any roots and tend to sow themselves in another garden after a period of time. Alotta gives her six more months and trusts that you can find the hardiness within yourself to stick out the season. The trick here is to follow the advice of thousands of drill sergeants past and present and "save the drama for your mama". That is, keep your chin up at work, do your best and then do something to blow off steam on your off time. Be mindful of your goal of staying and advancing. Keep your head on at work and you'll come out on top.

Were you lied to in your interview? You bet your sweet "up-and-coming-retail-chain" you were. But since you like the company, the job and the products, stick it out and grow some roots. It sounds like it can be a fruitful experience for you and eventually, weeds like her will either get whacked or move over to the neighbor's lawn. If you take nothing else away from Alotta's advice, take the following: she's an annual—you're a perennial.

- Alotta, nourishingly

Dear Alotta

How do you tell someone at work that she needs to take a bath? There's a woman at work that stinks to high heavens and she is disrupting the work that needs to be done because everybody spends time talking about the stench and avoiding work with this person. I am her manager, however I am very new to management and I am unsure how to approach this type of issue. I am also a man and am nervous about discussing body odor with a woman.

- B.O.'s Boss

Dear B.O.'s Boss,

Try this:

"Knock Knock."
"Who's there?"
"Pea"
"Pea who?"
"Oh great you think something smells too. Now take a shower, would ya?"

But seriously folks... Alotta reckons that informing someone that they smell is a job for HR. But if you are unable or unwilling to call upon HR for the dirty deed, you must take it upon yourself to clean up this mess. Sit the smelly lady down in your office (or a private room) and tell her that you need to raise a personal matter with her. Delicately notify her that it has come to your attention that she has somewhat of an offensive odor about her. Explain that if it were you, you would want someone to tell you and that because of this fact, you felt obligated to tell her. Make her feel as comfortable as possible by keeping it short, smiling empathetically and looking her in the eye when you speak. Tell her that you realize it's an awkward situation and that if there's anything you can do to help, she should let you know. Do not mention that her stench is disrupting work or that anyone complained, but be very clear that taking better care of herself in the odor department is mandatory.

As for your hesitation, you're not alone. According to a study by Arm & Hammer, more than half (59%) of Americans said they would not feel comfortable telling a colleague if they had any kind of body odor. If you can bring yourself to be part of the other 41%, you will be doing this woman a huge favor.

Good luck!

- Alotta, aromatically

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