Emotionally Immature Part II

I originally posted the other story anonymously here:



AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHH! I WANT TO RIP THIS GUY'S HEAD OFF! He's driving me insane! Oh my god I thought the kids I teach were bad enough, he's basically a 60+ KID!

Again, this is the short, short version. So two days later, I talked to my geriatric hippie coworker and he basically told me off. He tried to tell me that "we had open lines of communication", that it's not "normal" to write such "nasty letters". He claimed I "had some nerve to send him something that mean-spirited into his home" (I kid you not) and he summed up my behavior as being a "control freak". He said he never wanted to talk to me again.

He was exhibiting very childish, non-productive, asinine behavior. Believe it or not, he actually expected me to change my mind and "apologize" for writing my email.

After he was done, I told him "you're on your own." How is this bad for him? I basically have to show him how to do everything, and I mean everything. From disciplining the kids to giving assignments. Without me, he's naked.

I knew he would crash and burn, and that was the end of him. He, of course, did not take me seriously. He never has and never will.

Fast forward to Monday. Our boss gave us assignments to do for this week, and they were due very urgently. Geriatric hippie didn't have a frickin' clue what to do. First thing that came out of his mouth was "I don't know how to do this, can you help meeeee?", in a very pathetic manner. After all that crap he dumped on me last week, HE EXPECTED ME TO HELP HIM. JUST LIKE THAT. NOPE, NEVER MIND THE FACT THAT YOU CALLED ME A CONTROL FREAK, AND ALL THAT BS.

Obviously he finally realized the $#!7 hit the fan, and since he was in panic mode, he thought kissing my @$$ was going to fix everything.

I reminded him that he no longer wanted to talk to me. He said "I lost my cool at the time, but that's all over now." That's when I became very pissed off. It wasn't over. Not. Even. Close. If you hurl a bunch of insults at someone, you'd better sure as h*ll back it up. You can't half-step and dance around something like that, the damage has been done responsibility needs to be taken.

The next few minutes turned into a giant p!$$ing match. He kept bugging the hell out of me until I had it. When he knew he pissed me off enough, he threatened to report me to my boss, and that's how the conversation ended.

Today was more of the same. He pretty much pissed me off so much with his "You have to help me! I don't know anything!" Every time I told him no, that he can go p!$$ off. Nope, he came back and lapped it up some more. Again, he threatened to report me and the conversation ended.

I reminded him that I don't owe him anything, nor am I obligated to help him. He's just as much an employee as I am and he's a big boy now, he should know how to do things on his own. I warned him that I have no qualms about reporting him for his harassing behavior.

My plan for tomorrow is to just ignore him. Basically don't feed the Troll and starve him of any attention. That way I won't be stressed out, and I can live my own simple life without this stupid 60+ year old kid hanging around me.

I hope he quits VERY SOON.

POST A COMMENTSouthernProgrammer(02/25/2009)
What's ridiculous is he will probably quit and blame YOU as the reason he failed.

BonusOnus(02/25/2009)
He reminds me of the sneaky Indian coworker "L" at my last job. Couldn't do a damn thing correctly and sucked up to me to help him. Of course, if I helped him or did his work for him, he'd take all the credit and then try to backstab me even though I helped him out.

He did this a few times and then I stopped doing his work for him. I would answer questions and maybe go over something with "L" once but never more than once. I documented every time I helped him, including what I covered.

"L" got frustrated a few more times because he still couldn't do certain tasks for projects without me doing it for him or me having to go over something with him again and again (which prevents me from doing my own work). He was lazy; if he had a question and he could get the answer by reading the specs for 30 min., he would rather come to me and ask me the question again and again, rather than do his homework.

He kept coming back for help and I would point out that I already went over the topic with him. And I would ask him if he read the specs as I asked him to. He would lie and said he did but claim that he still didn't understand it. I told him that I couldn't help him anymore because I had my own work to do and I couldn't do his job and mine at the same time.

He got mad and then went to my manager and complained that I wasn't helpful, that I wasn't a team player, and that I was trying to undermine him and withhold critical information.

When my manager talked to me about it, I referred to my notes, the times I helped him, what functions or areas I covered when I assisted him, and the times I asked him to read the specs. How could I be withholding critical information when IT'S ALL IN THE SPECS? That's where I got all my information.

I also told my manager that I was assisting "L" way too much and it was affecting my work progress. I gave him a choice - I can meet my deadlines or I can help "L" more but I would miss my deadlines. I also said that I would no longer take "L's" assertions that he read the specs at face value and quiz him.

My manager told me to focus on my work -- that was top priority. He would deal with "L". "L" still came back to me for help and I started confronting him when he claimed that he read the specs but couldn't understand them. I quizzed him. Asked him questions like what was covered in this chapter, or what mechanism was described in that chapter. He fell apart when he couldn't answer my questions and then claimed that he didn't have time to read all the specs and that I should just help him because it was faster for him to just have me answer all his questions. By his logic, he claimed that if I saved his time, I would be saving the company time and helping the company out. No, I told him that it was in his best interest to read the specs and learn it; answering his questions was like me doing his math homework. It wouldn't help him learn math if I did it for him.

"L" still didn't get it and tried that Indian shuck and jive act and tried to portray this image that he was the most knowledgeable and most accomplished worker in the group. I would totally f**k with him though - when someone else came to me for help because they knew I would know the answer, I would refer them to "L". This annoyed some people who felt that I was wasting their time because even they knew "L" was a BS artist and didn't know what he claimed he did. But it did help blow "L's" cover. My manager picked up relatively quickly that "L" was a BS artist. Most of the others in my group picked that up as well. So did people in other groups. He finally transferred out (and I hear the people in the new group are already onto his act too -- ha ha!)

CK(02/25/2009)
Sounds more like a case of harrassment to me. I'd report him and explain that he will NOT leave you alone! But if you do report him that I would keep your cool!

GeriatricHippieEuthanasia(02/25/2009)
It's very much harassment, and come to think of it, he's interfering with my work time. If he continues this behavior today, I will report him.

GeriatricHippieEuthanasia(02/25/2009)
BonusOnus: Thanks for the story, I'll take your advice in documenting what I've done and what he's said to me.

BonusOnus(02/25/2009)
GHE,

Document everything. Document when you talked to him, when you assisted him and what topics you covered.

You need to keep records. If you do, than it will be clear that you did your part in helping him but he couldn't do his job without your help.

geriatrichippieeuthanasia(04/07/2009)
SouthernProgrammer: What's ridiculous is he will probably quit and blame YOU as the reason he failed.

The sad part is he never quit, and he still blamed me for his incompetence. We had a meeting with our boss and my coworker laid complete blame on me. Boss ate every word of it and threatened to fire us both. After the meeting I made a compromise with my coworker: if he apologizes for his actions, then I'll start helping him out again (on a very limited basis).

I know, total f***ing BS, but I that's what happens when you work with a 60+ year old child. I'll bet when he was a kid he was spoiled rotten by his parents- thus the air of sheer arrogance and attitude of entitlement. I seriously wanted to tear his face off and feed it to the kids, but then again he'll file a lawsuit against me and I'll become bankrupt for the rest of my life.

What, with recent facial transplant technology and all, he can't complain.

labtech(04/08/2009)
Yes, that's the problem with these people. Ours lies like a rug, too, and since his ONE SKILL is "Sucking up to the Boss" we get the ugly end of that stick, too - he's also our boss. We went to the big boss to complain about being treated like bad-mannered, incompetent 4-year-olds, and guess what - we're in trouble and he's the king of the world. The one skill that is needed to succeed in this life is "Sucking Up" - that's the moral of my story. Right or wrong, obnoxious or not, doesn't matter. And don't talk to me about HR, Union reps, or anything like that. My front door mat is more useful.

geriatrichippieeuthanasia(09/01/2011)
Update: This was back in '09, but the idiot eventually quit and he lost the battle. Sadly he was replaced by another equally inept dolt and I lost my job due to lack of hours.

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