I have posted a couple times on here, but here is a recap for those of you who have forgotten.
I work for Shaws Supermarket as a Deli Clerk. We got a new boss almost a yr ago (actually she was sort of assistant deli manager before she got promoted). Ever since she took over, my job totally sucks. I feel like I am doing everyone's work when I shouldn't have to and I get no reconization for it. I tried to leave a couple of times, stayed on the condition that I work a 4 day 32 hr week (I am only supposed to be part time, but was working as a full timer)I got what I asked for for a few weeks, til the new girl left. I also stayed on the condition that I work no more than 2 nights a week. Well, now I am working 5 days a week, 40 hrs again, and about 3 nights a week. I am also going through a lot of emotional stuff. Six months ago I was sexually attacked at my house while my husband was at work (yeah I am still going to therapy for that). Plus, it has been a yr since my grandmother died, and my stepdad died of cancer almost a yr ago, plus my mother in law is not doing well, she has kidney and heart failure, and my best friend is now in a wheelchair and cant walk due to diabetes. I am going through hell and really do not need the aggrivation from work. Plus I have clinal depression. This woman is a pain in the neck. She works a four day week while the part timers work 40 plus hrs. She had a four day week this week and I had a five day week (spent one day off caring for my sick husband). I have therapy wednesdays so I cannot work on wednesdays. I got home from therapy and there is a message on my answering machine trying to call me in, cause my manager called in. She had mon and tues off, plus today (thursday). And they expect me to work 6 days??? I do have a life. I am trying to get out of this place, but unfortunately I really need the health insurance and I just took out a 401K loan which I need to pay back. I am looking for ANY advice on this matter. I am really unhappy here and I DREAD going to work.
POST A COMMENTFreedomringer(12/08/2006)
I am sorry to say this, but just don't do more than you are paid to do. Stop trying to be the martyre. Do not sacrifice yourself and your life to this store. Life is short. One day you will wake up and you will be 60 or 70 and a good portion of your life will have been working to make someone else rich. Stop it. Run, skip and find joy while you still can. It does not take money to find happiness!!!!!
avid reader(12/08/2006)
What happened? You were so strong the last time you quit! You were talking about a dog walking business and everything! I was so happy for you! What changed to suck you back in? Or a better question is what changed that you let yourself get sucked back in? People treat you how you LET THEM TREAT YOU. Listen, nobody is going to take care of you but YOU. Once you learn that, things will fall together. I am glad you are getting help for being attacked. I am so very sorry that happened to you and I understand it can cause serious internal struggles and issues. It's a painful thing to endure. All the more reason that you need to stand up and TAKE YOUR POWER BACK. You are giving it to everyone else right now. You will be a victim for as long as you allow yourself to be. You are NOBODY'S VICTIM. Not that man who attacked you, not your boss's, and not your job's! You are strong! Now put your chin up, stand up straight and start acting that way TODAY! You can do it!! =) We're behind you!
Cuddlebears7278(12/08/2006)
There is really nothing good to say about this job lately I hate everything about it. I end up doing everyone's work no matter what I say or do. Last night I got so frustrated with everything that I tried to overdose on drugs and kill myself. Dog business isnt working out there are a lot of people doing that around here and actually, I dont have the time cause I gotta work the job I hate. I got bawled out yesterday by another part timer cause I didnt come in on my day off. I had therapy and I wasnt even home.
blola(12/08/2006)
Cuddlebears, it is not the job. You are obviously very deeply depressed and with good reason, but STOP this way of thinking and DO NOT ever say again that you will take your own life. YOU add value to this world and your life will touch so many people in a very positive way. The place you are in right now is only temporary and you have unlimited possibilites and opportunities all around you. Find one thing that enjoy about your job and concentrate on that little bit of enjoyment and it will start to magnify and manifest positive energy in your life and then it will begin to attract more for you. You are a beautiful woman and you have more power that you realize. Love and cherish yourself if only for 1 minute each day and I guarantee that it will grow. Try not to think about the negative and remember 1 positive thought is 100 times more powerful than a negative thought. My prayers are with you and I know you CAN DO IT.
Cuddlebears7278(12/08/2006)
my husband called me in today and told my boss what happened last night. She was in total shock that I would do that and she said she hopes I am okay. Now I have a problem with the drs office. My husband called and they didnt take him seriously. They didnt even want to see me, just told me to drink lots of fluids. What the hell is that going to do?
blola(12/08/2006)
Was this your medical doctor or therapist's office? These people can be in for a lot of trouble if they refuse to see you as this is a medical emergency. I'm all for drinking water, but that does not cure depression. DEMAND to see a doctor - EXERT YOUR POWER and do not settle for less. This is your life not theirs and you matter the MOST. I'm praying for you and it is going to work out for you.
C - -(12/09/2006)
Cuddlebears: Check if your State or City has a Crime Victims' Compensation Fund also called Crimevictims State Fund etc. Medial care, loss of pay and other losses are covered, but you have to ask for it several times and stay firm. Very often requests have to be repeated several times when dealing with State/City employees. Their first answer is always an unhelpful "No". The trauma is interfering with your daily function and you have no defenses. In daily operation another part time employee should not put you in such a tail spin and should have been told to shut up or leave. You are working for very uncaring people who take advantage of your situation. Hard to believe how insensitive your store is treating you. Check if the employment office can find you another job where you do not have to deal with the public. Check also if you can get temporary disability until you can put this awful experience behind you and you are strong enough to deal with all of life's problems. -- Good Luck --
Cuddlebears7278(12/10/2006)
Another problem I have is my husband's work. They are treating him like total garbage, and I hate seeing that. He can't go to the company Christmas party because he has to work(this is crap since he has been there the longest). Plus he got a written warning yesterday about calling in on Friday. He told them what I did, and why he stayed home, and they just pretty much ignored him. He works ALL holidays we didnt even get to have thanksgiving dinner together we never do. We have never celebrated New Years Eve because he has to work until 3 or 4 in the morning then be back to work at 7. Yeah, 7 AM, 3 hrs later. Christmas he has to really fight for and he just barely gets it. This year I dont think he will. This is not helping my situation any. His boss told him he has sensed that we are drifting apart... why the hell wouldn't we be? We never see each other. I feel like I have a roommate that I sometimes see.
Freedomringer(12/11/2006)
Cuddlebear, I understand you are here for comfort and support, but you need to take charge of your life, because it is too short! My sister, attempted suicide, and I was the one who got the phone call in the middle of the night from the police and hospital. Pills are a cry for help, but you dont want to die, my sister slit her wrists and when that was not quick enough went for her own throat, but she passed out before striking anything lethal. She wanted to die because she was clinically depressed. You are feeling sorry for yourself and are probably suffering from mild clinical depression. My sister was in a lock down psychiatric hospital for months. She is better now, but I am still angry at her for being a coward and not facing her problems proactively!!!!!!!!!!! You say you don't want to work over 30 hours, so don't answer the phone when they call you in to work! Let them call back until the cows come home but don't answer it. You are the only person who can get you out of the situation you are in, and sometimes we are, our own worst enemies. You need to find a support group for sexual assault victims and take back your life!! Life is precious and taking your own life is not the answer. I could tell you a story of a young girl who needed attention so she took a whole bottle of tylenol, now she is suffering from liver failure, the ironic thing is she really did not want to die, she was just crying out for help. She is dying slowly and painfully all because she needed help but did not know how to ask and she was always a bit of a Drama Queen. Only now she is getting help, but it is too late. Put the drama aside and pick yourself up by your boot straps and advocate for yourself. Best wishes!
blola(12/11/2006)
Freedomringer, you are awesome! We need to find one thing (no matter how small or how large) to be thankful for each and every day and concentrate on that one thing until we began to attract more goodness into our lives. We have the power within us to make changes, but we need to use it. It is not easy, but it can be done....inch by inch anythings a cinch. What we think and what we concentrate on is what we get.
Victoria(12/14/2006)
Hey girl: I wrote a while back and LISTENED to what folks were telling me...I got OUT of a job I needed (I am a nurse) with benefits, blah, blah, blah; multiple necessary meds for me and hubbie, etcetera. We moved to small apartment with less rent; gave up some "luxuries" and I quit the job and quit nursing.- I am now living a relatively stress-free existence and both my darling and I are off the medications and doctor's visits we thought our lives were hinged on. - Rule of thought: "less is more". Turn to the spiritual and allow Him to help you take charge. It is easy to quit and surrender to cynicism.- I too was a victim of violence and I finally realized I was continuing the violence against myself through my negative cycle of thought and emotion. - I realized I HAD to let go of that rage. My prayers are with you. Victoria
blola (12/07/2006)
What exactly is it that you hate about this job. Is there anything at all about the job that brightens up your day?
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