Dec 06, 2006

Tis the Season to Call in Sick!

Tags: Calling in Sick, Holiday Season, Playing Hooky, Company Policy,

Let me start off this post by being clear about my stance on sick days: You don't have to be sick to use them.

That's right, baby.  I said it.  And for any bosses of mine, (past or present) that happen to be reading this column, I'll just tell you right now that there really is such a thing as a mental health day.  And all those random Wednesdays that I called in sick with excuses ranging from a headache to "not feeling well"?  Yeah. I was at the mall.  Or home, on the couch, watching reruns of What's Happening.  One time?  One time my boyfriend and I rented a row boat and sat on it in the middle of a local lake that looks up at your building.   It was 75 degrees on a cloudless day in June.  You really didn't expect me to hand a day like that over to you did you? 

And yes sir, there have been plenty-o-days that I was really sick.  I got food poisoning and I really did have bad cramps a couple of those Monday mornings.  Here and there I was hungover (I think that counts) and that kidney infection was real.  The rest of those days?  Only I know for sure. 

So now here I am writing this blog and recommending that anyone who reads this call in sick sometime very soon and take a day off just for themselves.  Do some shopping, grab a hot dog at your favorite fast food place, watch Oprah, go to the museum or play hooky with your kids and take them ice skating.  Life is short!  If I was a doctor, I'd write you a prescription for Jobitis—or at least a sick note.

I recognize that there are people out there who would love to be able to do this, but who can't.  There are tons of people with children or other dependents who need to conserve their sick days for when a child or loved one gets sick.  I get that.  And God love you for taking care of people who need you.  But it's December!  Promise me that if it gets to be the week before Christmas and nobody's gotten sick that you'll steal a day away.  Or at least try!

I also know that there are CEO-fearing company folk out there that will view this post as a preposterous scheme full of errant disregard for company budgets and a blatant disrespect for company polices.  To them I say, "You're damn right it is!".  But quite frankly, if you're a CEO-fearing company employee, what in God's name are you doing on Job Schmob? 

So that's it, kids.  That's my honest sick day confession and my unapologetic sick day call to arms.  Before this month is over I plan to take at least one sick day that doesn't involve me being sick.  For the rest of you who are with me on this, I've linked to a WikiHow article below on how to call in sick.

Oh and—hey reader? If you ask me, you're looking a little peaked.  You better stay home tomorrow.

Visit Link » ( http://www.wikihow.com/Call-in-Sick-When-You-Just-Need-a-Day-Off )