Oh on-the-job couple, you’re so sweet
You believe that everyone thinks you’re so neat
You’re quite a bit blinded by your new love
Or else you’d see that it’s you we’re sick of
Oh on-the-job couple, you’re basking in bliss
You sit in the breakroom at lunchtime and kiss
We can’t sit in there with you because we feel queasy
Your kissy-pooh talk is so god damn cheesy
Oh on-the-job couple, you pair of geeks
We knew it’s been going on for weeks
You told us yesterday that you just started dating
But last month we saw you in the conference room---mating
Oh on-the-job couple, did you really need to “make it official”?
How in the world could that be beneficial?
Oh we get it…it gives you permission to make us puke
And somehow it “proves” that your love’s not a fluke
Oh on-the-job couple, we’re really not jealous
But a staff meeting’s not the place to be so zealous
You see us as bitter, unsympathetic gabs
But we’re afraid you might give each other crabs
Oh on-the-job couple, you said we could come to the wedding
But the guys in the mailroom are already betting
By the end of summer you’ll be all used up
And we’ll have to take sides when you’re broken up
Oh on-the-job couple, please spare us the grief
If you could stop this now it would be a relief
But if you persist, we’ll have to suck it up and buy it.
But dammit we were hoping for some peace and quiet
