Oh gossip, oh gossip, gossipy girl
You relate the new rumors through the mill
You add your own details to make it more juicy
You describe Jan in Claims as "just a bit loosey"
Oh gossip, proud gossip, you've lost all our trust
Because you've turned our reputations to dust
You bend over backwards to get a good morsel
You’re worse than a shark with blood on its dorsal
Oh gossip, great gossip, you're the best at the game
You're not out for blood; you're out to maim
You're the first to report our relationship woes
And you can't wait to out the latest office foes.
Oh gossip, oh gossip, someday you'll pay
Despite what you said, the VP ain't gay
You may get a written warning this time
But everyone knows that you’re certified slime
Oh gossip, poor gossip, you'll do whatever it takes
To get the latest dirt no matter what is at stake
The news of the downsizing got to you first
The day you found out, we all thought you'd burst
Oh gossip, oh gossip, you're on permanent probation
But we’ll all still treat you like Grand Central Station
When entertainment's low and we need a fix
It’s you who'll we'll throw right into the mix
