Oh neighbor, oh neighbor, oh neighbor of mine
As far as I know you think things are fine
You come in each morning and plop your butt down
Without realizing you cause such a frown
Oh neighbor, oh neighbor, oh neighbor so true
You sneeze like an elephant sick with the flu
And how can I explain the odor you emit
Ejected directly from underneath your pit
Oh neighbor, oh neighbor, oh neighbor next door
You make unidentified noises that rumble the floor
I cannot determine if it’s a song you are singing
Or wailing in pain from a porcupine stinging
Oh neighbor, oh neighbor, oh neighbor by force
I wish you hadn’t eaten that second course
Because now there’s an odor I know very well
It shows up each time you’ve digested Hormel
Oh neighbor, oh neighbor, oh neighbor about who
I haven’t an inkling of what it is that you do
You yak on the phone to family and friends
Ragging on how much your coworker spends
Oh neighbor, oh neighbor, oh neighbor divine
It seems that you've finally crossed the line
Each day I think that I am going to scream
But I hope that I won’t go to that extreme.
Oh neighbor, oh neighbor, oh neighbor my friend
The time has come that I can no longer pretend
This cubicle wall offers me no protection
I am left to sit and just bitch in your direction
