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Changing rules at random so you can bully me
Posted on 04/07/2006 by the cynic
Viewed: 209 times
Another story from my previous career (anyone getting an idea of why I left)?
I used to work in a group home for delinquent teens. There was one woman working there who was just snippy and bitter about everything, and would find every excuse in the book to yell at those she considered her "targets" (coworkers that is, not the teens).
At the home, when one of the kids got sent to their rooms, we called it a "room restriction." They were placed in their rooms for a set amount of time, and were allowed to come out only to use the bathroom, eat, hygiene, or get something to read from the main shelf. They were not to socialize with other kids until the restriction was up.
So one day, Ms. Bitter puts a kid in his room, and sends me to supervise him on hallway duty (making sure he doesn't come out except under the allowed circumstances). I allow him to come out to get a newspaper to read, just as Ms. Bitter comes upstairs.
She sees him and screams at me, "WHY is he out of his room? When one of your coworkers disciplines a child, you DO NOT OVERRIDE HER. Have some respect for your colleagues. I'm tired of you doing this."
I said to her, "I thought he was allowed out to get reading material during room restriction."
Bitter rolls her eyes and says, "THAT WAS NOT A ROOM RESTRICTION. I DID NOT CALL IT A ROOM RESTRICTION! I just sent him to his room, and I expected him not to come out. You went over my head, and that is UNPROFESSIONAL." She then stormed out.
In another case, Ms. Bitter went outside to smoke a cigarette, as she did about 5 times a shift. When she came in, she smelled the air (wafting in from HER ciggy), accused one of the kids of smoking in the bathroom, and again YELLED at me "Why didn't you check to make sure they weren't smoking? YOU should be watching them. You are careless and irresponsible!"
Grr, what a manipulative b@#$#@$!
She was constantly changing the rules to fit her mood for the day. On some nights, they were allowed on the computer during study hour. On other nights, they were not--and WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THAT? I have to "learn" to pay attention! On some nights, they had to be in their rooms for quiet time after dinner. The next night, she'd be goofing off with them and playing games. When I'd follow her example and play games, she'd scream at me, 'WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE CHILDREN BEING IN THEIR ROOMS? PAY ATTENTION."
Finally, in another case (there were hundreds in the year I worked there, but I'm not writing a book here so I'll only give a few), she got on my case because one of the kids was depressed and I wasn't "WATCHING HIM" enough for suicide threats. Apparently he had made some sort of obscure comment indicating that he wanted to die, and I had missed it somehow.
Again, "why don't you pay attention, wake up, stupid, etc."
So one day after school, a kid brought home his backpack, which was searched and inspected for drugs and alcohol and weapons, as per our procedure. While searching, I found a poem inside that disturbed me because it sounded suicidal, so I took it out. It said something like, "The world is getting darker, I have visions of the afterlife, lighter than today, I'd like to leave this world, I can't take it."
When I showed it to her, Ms. Bitter glared at me, gaping mouth and all, and said, "WHY DID YOU TAKE A CHILD'S POEM AWAY? This is his MEANS OF EXPRESSING HIMSELF, and you are denying him that! How could...I mean...I can't believe this. What is wrong with you? What if you wrote a poem and I took it away? Geeezus!"
I said, "Well, I thought we were supposed to watch kids for suicidal thoughts, and this is pretty clear."
She said, "Well, I don't see anything of the sort. This is therapeutic writing, and you are ABUSIVE becasue you are TAKING HIS THERAPY AWAY. Shame on you and DON'T YOU EVER do this again!"
TIt got to a point where this woman would reduce me to tears every shift, and also stomach issues due to the inconsistency and knowing that no matter what I did, I'd be yelled at, probably in front of the kids.
I ended up quitting that job.
cnubelevit(04/14/2006)
Hey cynic, I worked in a child care facility part time whilst in college. It's not bad enough that you had the stress from the children, but to have it from some overbearing cow!!!! I would've told her that the kids were more mature than she was on the way out the door.
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Loves 2 Run (04/07/2006)
I'm glad you quit, from the sound of her actions...she might have been "Bi-Polar". Clearly a sick individual! HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND EVERYONE.. Time to find a new job. Everyone here is giving notice left and right. I'd hate to be the only car left in the lot. LOL
C - - (04/11/2006)
Poor kids. Role model Bitter is not making them act and feel any better - possible that she wanted to scare everybody away to be alone with the kids. Let somebody know anonymously what she is doing before she does some real damage.
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