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What? No trust fund like the rest of us? And you still want to retire in your 30's? According to this WikiHow article it can be done, that is, if you don't want to have any fun, travel to nowhereville and die of stress on your 31st birthday. Hey, knock yourself out! My favorite portion of the "how to" plan follows: The quickest, high odds way to do this is by focusing on landing a high paying job. Consider the types of jobs that pay extraordinarily well in exchange for hard work, little psychological satisfaction, and a punishing lifestyle.Yeah, you read that right. Punishing lifestyle. Right on. Sign me up.  Hey here's a grim thought though: What if you die at 29? What are they going to say at your funeral? "Well...he was almost there. He gave up his 20's so he could save for retirement. Now, thanks to him, all his siblings are rich a**holes with a dead brother." Harsh? Nah. Realistic!Unfortunately for this poor blogger, it's too late. But hell, look at the true riches I have to show for my 20's! I have a big screen tv and when I die, I will die armed with all the memories of the wonderful reality TV moments it brought me. Visit Link » ( http://www.wikihow.com/Retire-in-Your-30's) comments ( 0 ) |  post to digg |  post to del.icio.us |  e-mail it
Jun 28, 2006
Create Your Own Promo For The Office ContestTags: The Office, Contests, You Tube,NBC and YouTube have partnered to offer the perfect contest for creatively oppressed cubicle drones. The Office Promo Contest!  Get out your video cameras and start calling the shots. When your coworkers ask "but wait, what's my motivation?" All they'll have to do is look around.I can't wait to see the finished products. I love The Office and I know there's a lot of creative people on JobSchmob that could pull it off. To help you out, they have graphics and theme songs for you to download. You have till July 21st. Now stop reading this and get going! Visit Link » ( http://www.nbc.com/The_Office/contest/) comments ( 0 ) | post to digg | post to del.icio.us | e-mail it
Jun 26, 2006
CEOs make 262 times average worker's payTags: CEOs, Salaries, Statistics,Oh is THAT ALL? Oh they're right! We employees have no right to complain and should just be thankful we have jobs. Yes, kids, step right up and witness a true life lesson! Watch the rich get richer and the poor get poorer! Last year, the average CEO was paid $10.9 million a year, or 262 times an average worker's earnings of $41,861, the Economic Policy Institute said last week. In the midst of offshoring, outsourcing and downsizing it makes complete sense that a CEO should make 262 times what the average employee makes, doesn't it? For crying out loud, people, he's got to deal with all the stress from his overworked underappreciated employees. He deserves it! Visit Link » ( http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060626/BUSINESS07/606260335/11) comments ( 3 ) | post to digg | post to del.icio.us | e-mail it
Jun 23, 2006
Apparently We "Need" an Electronic Device to Calm Us The Heck DownTags: Stress, Only in America,Incredible. We can't figure out how to de-stress on our own, so we need a device to calm ourselves down and teach us how to breath—at least that's what the makers of the "Stress Eraser" want us to believe. "Discover the secret to stress-free living", boasts the website. Ah-ha! And all this time I had no idea the secret that has been eluding me was right here in front of me. Duh! Like a fool I have been relying on natural techniques like diet, exercise, posture and limiting my work hours. What a simpleton I was for not realizing true stress relief is the result of a battery operated device that I stick my finger into. Thank God, I've been enlightened. Come to think of it, someone should call Tibet and let the monks know! Imagine how much more productive they could be if they didn't have to spend all that time sitting in lotus position and breathing. Visit Link » ( http://www.stresseraser.com/beach) comments ( 0 ) | post to digg | post to del.icio.us | e-mail it
Jun 22, 2006
Job Interviews That SuckTags: Interviews,Geared more towards IT interviews but you'll be able to relate no matter what. Between the sadistic interviewer, the requirements you were never told about and the dude who "simply won't interview you" it's hellish out there! How did it all come to be this bad? Visit Link » ( http://www.membox.com/brainbox/us/home.nsf/$all/80ED09BA63BBDE2BCA257083003EB0FF) comments ( 0 ) | post to digg | post to del.icio.us | e-mail it
Jun 21, 2006
Quiz: Is Your Boss a Psychopath?Tags: Bad Boss, Quizzes,Um, Yes...let's see, yes. Uhh-hmmm...Yes, yes. Annnnnnd that's a yes. Visit Link » ( http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/96/open_boss-quiz.html) comments ( 0 ) | post to digg | post to del.icio.us | e-mail it
Jun 20, 2006
Cubicles: The Biggest Joke the Devil Ever Played on MankindTags: Cubicles,Even the designer of the cubicle thinks they were maybe a bad idea". MAYBE? MAYBE?!?! Let's look at the state of the corporate world and try the question again, Pancho. The way I see it, cubicles are simply the low income housing developments of the corporate world. These days the floors of office buildings are like corporate ghettos, with the slum lords sitting in the corner offices. Visit Link » ( http://money.cnn.com/2006/03/09/magazines/fortune/cubicle_howiwork_fortune/index) comments ( 0 ) | post to digg | post to del.icio.us | e-mail it
Jun 19, 2006
CEO Hands in the Cookie Jar? No!Tags: CEOs, Embezzling, Corporate Crime,$890,000 in race-car driving lessons for the CEO's son written off as a marketing expense?? And we thought it was bad when the CEO of one of our employers bought fancy uniforms for every player on his daughter's soccer team and then sent out an e-mail thanking the company for its generosity. What fools we were. Meanwhile offshoring, outsourcing, downsizing and good old fashioned layoffs abound in the names of "saving money" and "cutting costs". Don't believe a word of it. Visit Link » ( http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/P149595.asp?GT1=8007) comments ( 0 ) | post to digg | post to del.icio.us | e-mail it
Jun 16, 2006
Dwight Schrute's Schrute-Space BlogTags: The Office, TV Shows,Sweet! A must read if you're a fan of The Office. The latest post is a play by play of Dwight K. Shrute's morning including, of course, defecation. It's as Dwight puts it: "a mere glimpse of the morning routine that drives this Schrute to the tippy top of the corporate ladder. If you haven't caught on yet, The Office on NBC is the best thing to happen to television. Visit Link » ( http://blogs.nbc.com/office/) comments ( 0 ) | post to digg | post to del.icio.us | e-mail it
Jun 14, 2006
Illegal Immigrants Returning To Mexico For American JobsTags: The Onion, Outsourcing, American Jobs,OMG gotta love the Onion. The way things are these days, this is not too unrealistic. Vaya con Dios. Visit Link » ( http://www.theonion.com/content/node/47978) comments ( 0 ) | post to digg | post to del.icio.us | e-mail it
Jun 13, 2006
Judge: Web-surfing worker can't be firedTags: Lawsuits, Privacy,Amen, Hallelujah and Praise the Lord! It is so good to see the positive contribution to society by someone who posseses both balls and brains. Take THAT, corporate slave driving machine! Judge: Web-Surfing Worker Can't Be Fired Chalk this one up as a WIN for the Damn the Man Army! Visit Link » ( http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2006-04-24-websurfing_x.htm) comments ( 0 ) | post to digg | post to del.icio.us | e-mail it
Jun 12, 2006
Blackberries in the Bathroom While We Wipe Our AssesTags: Multitasking, Blackberries,STOP MULTITASKING! We will. Just as soon we finish the 14 other things we're doing. And the 15 things we decide to do in between. This article really hit home with me. I totally agreed with it as I read it on my Sidekick while driving. I found the first commentor's comment to be dead on. I've been using it as food for thought every day since I read it. I remember reading once about a reporter who shoved a mic under the nose of a visting Chinese diplomat's wife's nose, and asked hurriedly -What did you find different from China? Initially dumbstruck by the abrupt intrusion of an unanounced reporter, she looked dazed, puzzled. But then, a light came into her eyes as she had it! "In China when someone is at work at their desk, we would interrupt them in a moment. If they're staring out the window, we would never interrupt them. In America, if someone is working at their desk you would never interrupt them. But if they're staring out the window you would interrupt them in a moment.This I do not understand." It speaks volumes about American culture, doesn't it? How did we get this way? Better yet---how are we going to fix it? Visit Link » ( http://blog.fastcompany.com/archives/2006/04/20/stop_multitasking.html?partner=r) comments ( 0 ) | post to digg | post to del.icio.us | e-mail it
Jun 11, 2006
Motorola to invest in new India facilityTags: Offshoring, Motorola, India,Seriousy, are we STILL thinking this is a good idea? We need leaders here, not followers. Visit Link » ( http://biz.yahoo.com/rb/060606/telecoms_india_motorola.html?.v=1) comments ( 0 ) | post to digg | post to del.icio.us | e-mail it
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