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  Where We Try to Resolve (not Absolve) Workplace Wickedness

Jul 20, 2006

When the Emperor (and his assistant) Aren't Wearing Any Clothes

Tags: Bosses From Hell,

We're all familiar with the tale of the Emperor's New Clothes. On the day his fabulous new duds are revealed, it's apparent that he's got nothing on, and only an innocent child has the guts to tell the truth-he's naked! If you've ever felt that way about issues in your workplace, you know how frustrating it is.

Recently, a post entitled ":( take care of this immediately" appeared. It is a classic case of workplace bullying enabled by an apparent affair. The temp "writes up" the long-term worker she was hired to help, and then says she'll "talk to Todd" (use of the boss' first name implies intimacy) after being told that critizing full-time help is not her job. Interesting too was one response that advises her to get out because the temp is "banging the boss".

The fact is many capable people are driven out due to this. It is an epidemic that is costing businesses billions as qualified and previously happy employees leave under the pressure of contstant, nit-picking comments made by those who have virtual immunity because they've had sex with the boss or bosses. My advice to anyone facing this is to go to the highest level possible, not just to HR. HR will tend to protect the company (their real job), not necessarily you.

The following is crucial: by acting the way they do, workplace bullies undermine the implied trust and cooperation of a productive workplace. Also, affairs connected with this sort of behavior have more to do with power and position than passion. Researcher Tim Field finds that where you find bullying, you often find an affair. Sometimes a weak superior is used for advancement, then discarded for a more powerful boss/enabler. Sometimes it's done because of mutual admiration for each others tactics.

At any rate, the temp probably was quietly shown the door following similar stunts at other companies. Say "you've done this before, haven't you?" to her and raise the question to others in authority.

Go to bullyonline.org. And speak up about this behavior that is just as insidious and unacceptable as racial and sexual discrimination in the past.

That's the naked truth.


Visit Link » ( http://www.bullyonline.org )


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Corporate Ladder Rung: Mailroomavid reader(07/20/2006)
>>Researcher Tim Field finds that where you find bullying, you often find an affair.<< Whoa. I had no idea those 2 were related. Your thoughts on it bring to mind the movie American Beauty where the two top real estate agents are really unscrupulous people competing for the top spot and end up having an affair with each other. I feel like my eyes have just been opened. I am going to start paying a lot more attention at work!

just me(07/21/2006)
Seems to me that not much is done if at all about bullies in the workplace. They have bullying programs for schools and such, but I don't see any resources for adults in workplaces. I know that the bully programs in schools were set up as a result of school shootings, but I think there is just as much if not more violence that results from workplace bullying. Maybe the thought is that adults can handle it but I don't think we can.

Corporate Ladder Rung: Mailroomthe confessor(07/21/2006)
The following is an excerpt from the bullyonline.org website:Affairs Of over 10,000 cases of bullying reported to Bully OnLine and the UK National Workplace Bullying Advice Line, in at least half the cases, the bully is having an affair with another member of staff. The affair has little to do with friendship, and a lot to do with strategic alliance in pursuit of power, control, domination and subjugation. In a further quarter of cases, there's often a suspected affair, and in the remaining quarter, there is often a relationship with another member of staff based not so much on sexual attraction but on a mutual admiration for the way each other behaves. If the bully is a female in a junior position, she finds a weak male in a senior position (this is usually not difficult) - for example the President, Chief Executive, any Senior Executive, Finance Director, Personnel Director, or Departmental Director, etc - then gains patronage, protection and reward (eg promotion) by traditional methods. Once promotion is gained, the female calculates who can give her the next promotion; if the first male cannot, he is ditched and another adopted. The males are unlikely to admit this is happening or has happened. If the bully is a male in a senior position, he is often sleeping with a secretary or office administrator, as this is where he gets his information and where he spreads his disinformation. Sometimes the female junior can be identified by her reward, eg being the only person allowed to hold the keys of the stock cupboard (everyone has to grovel to her if they want a new pen), or being put in charge of the office in the bully's absence when there are others who are senior to her who would make more appropriate deputies. Most serial bullies have unhappy and unsatisfactory private lives which are characterised by a string of broken relationships. If you are the current target of a serial bully and taking legal action, a little digging into the bully's past, including their personal life, will usually unearth some unsavoury facts that the bully would prefer not to be made public. In some cases, serial bullies have been found to have criminal convictions for fraud, or to have been compelled to attend therapy or counselling for their habit of compulsive lying, or they might have a record of domestic violence. Under normal circumstances making these facts part of the proceedings might be considered unethical; however, if you're the target of a serial bully, the circumstances are not normal.



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