This might seem like a weird thing to write in about but I figured "what the heck". I don't understand what I am working for anymore. It seems like a good portion of my money gets "donated" to the people at my office for Cub Scouts, Girls Scouts, birthday lunches, welcome lunches, goodbye lunches, walk-a-thons, holiday school candy sales, raffle tickets and new uniforms for little Johnny’s sports team. Yesterday was the last straw. I got asked to donate money to send my coworker’s 19-year-old son to Europe for the summer!! He wasn’t even going to walk, run or do anything at all to earn it. Excuse me, but I can’t afford to go to Europe for the summer myself! I made a comment to that effect and she stormed off in full view of my other coworkers who already donated. Now I feel like I am looked upon as a cheap skate, but COME ON! I am not made of money and I have never asked any of these people for a single dime in the 10 years I have worked here. Am I the cheap one or are they the greedy ones?
- Not Ebenezer Yet
Dear Eb,
Your rant hasn’t fallen on deaf ears. Alotta neither likes this practice nor thinks that an office setting is a place that parents should go “door to door”. She realizes that parents like to help their kids and that things can be quite competitive when sales awards are involved. As such, the best way she has seen this executed is by placing the order or pledge form in a community area like a water cooler or vending area. This allows people to donate without pressure and it allows the parent to avoid coming off as a "pusher". To help ignite this practice, the next time a solicitor comes around say, "I have an idea! Why don't you set up a place for this form in the break room so everybody knows about it and can donate." As for the lunches, I'm afraid you're stuck. This is simply a side effect of camaraderie and you’ll have to grin and bear it. You don’t mention the reaction of your coworkers when the mother stormed off, but I imagine you could be seen as a hero. Perhaps you may be surprised to learn that you’re among friends and that a few of the less brave birds said a silent "Yes!" when you turned her down.
To help you more easily stomach the yearlong donations, super-size your meal at your next birthday lunch.
- Alotta, encouragingly
Dear Alotta,
There is a lady at my office that sits in the middle of what they call a 'six pack' of cubicles (three on each side, all connected). I sit at one end, kitty corner from her. Unbelievably, she sits there and yaks on the phone to other people in the company about US, the people who sit around her. She doesn't try to be quiet either. She just sits and discusses her disdain for us. It's a regular occurrence too. For example: we all work together so we'll all walk back to our desks together from a meeting. Each time, she will promptly plop her royal butt in her chair and dial up one of her cohorts and start blithering on about the meeting and start quoting things we said in a mocking voice and say things like, "Can you believe that idiot, Carl, said that?" We are pretty sure she is doing it to put on a show and that it will catch up to her, so nobody ever says anything and pretends not to hear. It doesn't seem to be getting any better so I am wondering if we should, in fact, call her on it. What do you think?
- Slightly Sick of Playing Deaf
Dear Slightly,
Ah yes, as Alotta's mama used to say, "Every six pack has at least one over-carbonated can".
To cut to the chase: "yes", she's doing it for show and "yes" you should call her on it. But, make sure that when you call, you call her collect. Alotta suggests the following: The next time you have one of these team meetings, lag behind for a minute with the boss and engage him in conversation. Give Ms. Fizz a head start so she can start making her last and final phone call. Then ask the boss to follow you back to your desk so you can show him whatever it was you decided to discuss with him. Allow a minute of quiet time by taking your time to find what you "needed" to show him and let the fun begin. Most likely, Carbonated Cathy will be so caught up in her rant that she will not notice the boss, but he will certainly notice her. You may have to try this multiple times to catch her, but Alotta has faith in you. And since you sit kitty corner from her, where she is less likely to "get a visual", you are the optimal person for the job. If, in the end, this method fails, you, or one of the other "good cans" will indeed have to take her aside and tell her that her fizzy fence-talk is falling flat.
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